Best Employee Warning Ever

| Working | June 11, 2012

If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Stay Out Of The Microwave

, | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Working | June 11, 2012

(I’m at a fast food restaurant having a meal with my family.)

Me: “This chocolate turnover would taste better if it was warm.”

Stepfather: “Ask them to heat it up. The worst they can say is no.”

(I ask the nearest employee if they can heat up the turnover.)

Employee #1: “Sure!”

(As promised, Employee #1 puts the turnover in the microwave. However, he soon returns without the turnover.)

Employee #1: “I…um…your turnover caught on fire.”

Me: “What?”

(Overhearing this, another employee speaks up.)

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “Did you put it on our wrapping paper?”

Employee #1: “Yes.”

Employee #2: “The wrapping paper with ALUMINUM FOIL on it?”

Employee #1: “Yes…”

(To this day, my family’s new saying is “The worst that can happen is that your turnover will catch on fire!”)

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S As In Stupid

| USA | Working | June 11, 2012

Representative: “Thank you for calling [company]. May I have your name for account verification purposes?”

Me: “Sure. It’s ***** Gomes.”

Representative: “Could you spell the last name, please?”

Me: “G-O-M-E-S.”

Representative: “Gomez?”

Me: “No, Gomes. One syllable. With an S.”

Representative: “G-O-M-E-Z, correct?”

Me: “No…E-S. No Z.”

Representative: “Gomez?”

Me: “Gomes, with an S. No Z.”

Representative: “That’s not a real name!”

Bake Chicka Bow Bow

| Texas, USA | Working | June 10, 2012

(I’m working in the bakery department during Valentine’s Day at a booth set aside just for things like chocolate dipped strawberries and other Valentine’s specialties. All the credit for this stuff goes to bakery, so my manager does everything she can to push sales.)

Me: “Hey, [manager], did you pull up the sales report yet?”

Manager: “Yeah I did, Mama. I dunno…we may need to bust out the stripper poles!”

A Foregone Confusion

, | MA, USA | Working | June 9, 2012

Me: “I’d like a hamburger, small fries and a small [Soda] to go.”

Employee: “A hamburger. Would you like fries with that?”

Me: “Yes, a small fry and a small [Soda] to go.”

Employee: “What size fries would you like?”

Me: “Small…and a small [Soda]. To go.”

Employee: “Would you like something to drink?”

Me: “Yes, a small [Soda]. To go.”

Employee: “What size [Soda] would you like?”

Me: “Small. To go.”

Employee: “Would you like that for here or to go?”

Me: “You know… I knew you were going to ask me that.”

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