Comically Chauvinist

| Working | October 4, 2012

(I am a female customer at a local comic shop. I spend at least $20 a week there, usually buying ‘manly’ things like X-Men or Deadpool. This employee always assumes they’re for my boyfriend, and I ALWAYS correct him.)

Me: “Ooh, you guys have the Sailor Moon re-release? Can you set aside a book for me each time one comes out?”

Employee: “Sure.”

Me: “Are you sure they won’t run out?”

Employee: “Who else would even want one besides you?”

Me: “Well, it’s literally the most popular manga of all time, across the world, with both genders. A lot of people will want to buy it now that’s it’s in English again.”

Employee: *laughs* “Yeah, sure they are. It’s for GIRLS! Nobody will EVER want them!”

Me: *speechless*

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Deja Bun

, | Working | October 4, 2012

Me: “I’d like a [name] bun, please.”

Employee: “Sure. Would you like a white or a brown bun?”

Me: “White, please.”

Employee: “Sorry, we don’t have those anymore. Will brown do?”

Me: “Well, sure, but why give me the choice?”

Employee: “Well, I only realised it just this sec.”

Me: “Ah, well, I guess the weekend is looming on the both of us.”

(I think nothing more of it. However, as I receive my order, I hear the same employee talking to the next customer.)

Employee: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “One [name] bun please.”

Employee: “Would you like a white or a brown bun?”

Customer: “White, please.”

Employee: “Sorry, we’re out of white buns, will a brown one do?”

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Proudly Professing Profound Purple Preferences

| Working | October 4, 2012

(My mom and I are leaving after lunch. There is a hostess holding the door open thanking customers for their business.)

Hostess: *to other customers* “Thanks, have a great day!”

(As we approach the door, the hostess sees my mom who is wearing a purple hat and jacket.)

Hostess: “Thanks, have… oh my God! You are so PURPLE! I LOVE PURPLE!”

Mom: “Umm, thanks!”

Hostess: “I just love it soooo much. Purple!”

Mom: “Yep, purple…”

(As we exit…)

Hostess: *sticks her head out the door* “PURPLE!!!”

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Technology Just Doesn’t Click For Some Users

| Working | October 3, 2012

(I am a new employee, and my task is to upgrade the Office software on the computers. I’ve installed it on one particular computer, rebooted, and since the user wasn’t there, I left his office. Later, he calls my supervisor.)

User: “FIRE THAT GIRL! She ruined my computer!”

Boss: “What’s wrong with it?”

User: “I can’t do anything with it! It won’t accept my password!”

Boss: “Is your Caps Lock on?”

User: “NO, do you think I’m a f***ing idiot?”

Boss: “And you haven’t changed it recently?”

User: “NO, of course I haven’t!”

Boss: “Did you remember to click ‘OK’?”

*Windows startup tune plays in the background*

User: *hangs up*

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Instantly In Trouble

| Working | October 3, 2012

(I am a supervisor at a coffee shop working with a 16-year-old member of the weekend staff. On this day the coffee machine is broken. I write a sign explaining this and I tell the employee to apologise for the lack of coffee until the repair guy arrives, then I go into the back of the shop for a few minutes to put the pastries in the oven. When I return, the “Sorry, No Coffee” sign is gone from the counter.)

Me: “Where’s the sign?”

Employee: “Oh, I took it down. We didn’t need it. I’ve just been offering them instant coffee instead. I don’t know why you didn’t think of that.”

Me: “I didn’t realise we had any instant coffee. Where did you find it?”

Employee: “Well, I’m just using the regular coffee.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Employee: “The normal coffee from the coffee grinder, but I’m making it instant.”

Me: “Do you mean you’ve just been putting ground coffee in a cup then adding boiling water from the kettle?”

Employee: “Well, duh, that’s how you make instant coffee!”

Me: “HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SOLD COFFEE TO IN THE LAST FEW MINUTES?!”

Employee: “Three, but calm down… they all said instant coffee was okay!”

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