That Must Be Some Special Sauce

, | Amsterdam, NY, USA | Working | June 14, 2012

(I am grabbing a late dinner at a fast food taco restaurant.)

Employee: “Would you like any sauce with your order?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Employee: “Okay, your total comes to [total].”

(I drive up to the window, and hand over my credit card.)

Me: “Could I please get some extra napkins?”

Employee: “Sure, did you want any sauce with that?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Employee: *hands back my card* “Here you go. Did you want any sauce with your tacos?”

Me: “No, that’s okay.”

Employee: *hands me my drink* “Here’s your drink. Oh, did you want any sauce?”

Me: “No.”

Employee: *hands me my food* “Oh, there’s no sauce in the bag. Did you want any?”

Me: “…”

Knowledge Is Powerless

| North Carolina, USA | Working | June 14, 2012

(My coworker is walking a field tech through installing network equipment over the phone. I overhear the following exchange.)

Coworker: “Okay, I can remote to the router you set up, but I can’t get to the switch behind it. Can you reboot the switch?”

Field Tech: “Okay…” *brief pause* “Done.”

Coworker: “I just lost access to the router. What did you just reboot?”

Field Tech: “The DSL modem.”

Coworker: “Okay, I’ll need to wait on the DSL to come back up so I can get to the router again.” *after a minute* “Okay, now I’m back in the router. I need you to reboot the switch. This is the wide, flat box labeled ‘Linksys’.”

Field Tech: “Okay…” *brief pause* “Done.”

Coworker: “I just lost access to the router again. What did you unplug this time?”

Field Tech: “The uninterruptible power supply.”

Coworker: *head desk*

Never Hang Your Customers Out To Dry

| Valdosta, GA, USA | Working | June 14, 2012

(I have been using this laundromat every week for a few months now. The owner is also its main employee, and has been consistently unpleasant to people. However, his rates are very cheap. This night, I had gotten there just in time for last wash with a basket of laundry.)

Owner: “You can’t wash those now!”

Me: “Oh, are all the units in use?”

Owner: “No, I’m about to close up! You should come before last wash!”

Me: “Well, it’s about 6:30 now, and last wash is at 6:45.”

Owner: “Don’t you tell me what time it is! I say it’s last wash!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought I had time since it’s only 6:30, and last wash is at 6:45.”

(I point to the large sign displaying this.)

Owner: “You can’t tell me when I close! I close when I WANT to close! How dare you try to make me stay later just ’cause you want to do some f***ing laundry!”

Me: “No, I just meant—”

Owner: “I’m closing early tonight and YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!”

(At this point, I run out of patience.)

Me: “Look, how would I know you’re closing early? I come here every week and last wash is always 6:45. I’m not trying to make you stay late, but you don’t have to yell at me. I’m just gonna leave, and I’m not gonna use this laundromat anymore.”

Owner: “Fine! See if I care!”

(Thankfully, I found a new laundromat that actually has lower rates and friendly staff. The laundromat with the unpleasant owner closed a few months later; I wonder why?)

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Kill Me Now

| Working | June 14, 2012


Via.

As Clear As Gay

| London, UK | Working | June 14, 2012

(After going away on holiday, I return to work with a diamond ring on my left hand. My colleagues are coming over to congratulate me, when I’m approached by one of my senior managers.)

Manager: “Congratulations on your engagement! When is the happy day?”

Me: “Depends when we can book the venue, but both April and I have always wanted to get married in December.”

Manager: “Wait, you and April? You’re marrying a woman?!”

Me: “Well, the law stares that it’s a civil partnership, but to us it is a wedding.”

Manager: “You’re a lesbian…since when?”

Me: “Um, all my life. I’ve been with April for six years. Did you really not know I’m gay?”

Manager: “I’ve never seen indication that you were.”

Me: “So, after being a member of the LGBT network, appearing in the staff magazine explaining the rights policy, and coming into the work a month ago sun burnt from the Pride Festival, you really didn’t realise I was gay? Who did you the think the woman I brought to the Christmas party was?”

Manager: “I thought she was your sister.”

(My colleague, who has been listening to our conversation from across the room, chimes in.)

Colleague: *to my manager* “If you think that was her sister after you saw them kissing under the mistletoe, I have some questions about your family.”

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