Conspiracy Potpourri

| Montreal, QC, USA | Working | May 4, 2012

(I work at a spa with a lot of elderly regulars. There is a rumor that some are Freemasons. A conversation with a coworker about Freemasons turns into this.)

Coworker: “Remember that video we saw last time, the one with the news anchors blinking out lizard eyes and stuff?”

Me: “Yeah, I remember that. It’s pretty dumb. I mean, lizard people from space trying to infiltrate and take over our planet? Come on!”

Coworker: “I know, right? It’s totally demons.”

Me: “…What?”

Coworker: “Yeah, demons! You know, like when you get high enough in the Freemason ranks you get possessed by demons. I think some of the guys here may be one of them!”

While You Were Out

| Working | May 4, 2012

She’s Full Of Crap

| Memphis, TN, USA | Working | May 4, 2012

(I was sitting at a bar and overheard the bartender talking to another coworker.)

Bartender: “Man, I’m starving. I need to go feed my feces!”

Coworker: “Your feces?”

Bartender: “Yeah, my feces!” *points to stomach*

Coworker: “You mean fetus?”

Bartender: *looks confused*

Coworker: “Fetus is your baby. Feces is your s***.”

Bartender: *completely confused*

A Trainee, Thru-And-Thru

, | Sterling, VA, USA | Working | May 3, 2012

(I am in my car, ordering at the drive-thru speaker. The employee waiting on me seems to be in training.)

Me: “Number 11 with a Coke, please.”

Employee: “Okay… uh… 11. Coke… Is that for here or to go?”

Me: “I’m… in my car?”

Employee: “Oh. Drive up to the next window, please.”

My Kind of Water Cooler

| Working | May 3, 2012

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