Taking The Busy Out Of Business

| Working | November 22, 2012

(I work in the video games department of a very large retailer in the mall. Although we have a lot of video games, most of them are very popular titles, and we almost never carry any niche titles. When customers ask us for such games, we usually refer them to another video game store in the same mall. One day, an employee from that video game store comes into my workplace.)

Employee: “You there. I have a bone to pick with you!”

Me: “Yeah?”

Employee: “You need to quit telling your customers to come to our store.”

Me: “Why? What’s wrong?”

Employee: “We’re busy enough as it is, and you’re sending even more customers to us. This is getting ridiculous. We don’t need the extra traffic!”

Me: “Okay, tell me if I’m understanding this correctly: you’re irritated over the fact that we, a major retailer, are suffering these losses by allowing our customers to do business with you, one of our competitors, instead?”

Employee: “That’s besides the point! It’s really busy at my work, and you’re not helping at all!”

Me: “Is it busy over there right now?”

Employee: “Yeah, and I’m telling you to quit it!”

Me: “What are you doing here, then? Get back to work!”

(The employee scowls at me one more time and quietly walks out of my store. I still tell my customers to go to his store when they can’t find what they need. Hey, not my fault that they have such an awesome selection!)

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Might We Prescribe A New Job

| Working | November 22, 2012

(I’ve just come from the emergency department of the hospital, with instructions to fill two prescriptions immediately. I’m obviously sick and having difficulty breathing. It’s about 9:30 PM, which is 30 minutes before closing.)

Me: “I have a severe corn allergy, so can you please double-check the ingredients on those before filling them?”

Pharmacist: “No.”

Me: “…Pardon? ”

Pharmacist: “Almost all medications are made with corn starch, you know. I don’t think I can fill them.”

Me: “My understanding is that very few prescriptions meds have corn in the them. Can you check them please?”

Pharmacist: “No. I don’t have the ingredients.”

Me: “Aren’t they on the bottle?”

Pharmacist: “No.”

Me: “Can you look them up somewhere? Online or in a compendium?”

Pharmacist: “No.”

Me: “I really need these medications immediately.”

Pharmacist: *sighs* I guess I could leave them for someone tomorrow, and they could call the company.”

Me: “I need them tonight. I’m not sure what to do.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. There’s only a little bit of corn starch in a pill.”

My Husband: “NO! Didn’t you hear her? She’s ALLERGIC!”

Pharmacist: “Well, there’s nothing I can do tonight. I guess I can keep these until tomorrow and someone else will deal with it.” *wanders off*

(I called another pharmacy in the same chain, and they were able to check the ingredients immediately. We retrieved my prescriptions from the unhelpful pharmacist, and my husband made a complaint the next day. It turned out he was a temp and was fired.)

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Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Auto Shop

| Working | November 22, 2012

(I’m working at a new auto service center. It’s in the outer part of the city with very little street traffic and has no clientele base. I clean, process what little paperwork there is, write out hundreds of business solicitations, and call individual homes. However, there was very little else for me to do during the day. After about two weeks of being completely bored out of my mind, I get a visit from the owner.)

Owner: “What have you been working on?”

Me: “I’ve hand written and mailed those letters you wanted sent out, I clean all the rooms as much as I can, and I’ve been studying the material you gave me to learn about.”

Owner: “Well, what are you doing now?”

Me: “I’ve been calling the individual homes from the list you gave me, but, honestly, I could really use more work. Is there something else that I can do?”

Owner: “Well, that’s what you’re supposed to figure out.”

Me: “Believe me, I’ve tried, but I really can’t think of anything that I haven’t already been doing.”

Owner: “Well, you need to find something else.”

Me: “Like what? I’m really not sure what else I can be doing during the day. Is there something you want me to work on?”

Manager: “Just find something.”

Owner: “It’s your job to figure out what you’re supposed to do.”

(A few weeks later I was laid off because they didn’t have enough business to support having one employee. I now personally manage a local business, and although I rarely get a moment’s rest, I enjoy the work. I secretly smile every time I drive by the now vacant building.)

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Receipting You Loud And Clear

| Working | November 21, 2012

(Note: the owners of the bakery where I work tend to drop-in unannounced to nitpick the employees.)

Owner: “You always give them a receipt.”

My Boss: “They don’t want their receipts. They’ve told us that. When we do hand them a receipt, they just drop it on the floor on their way out, and we have to take the time to go clean them up.”

Owner: “I don’t care. They must always be given a receipt. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

(When the next customer comes through the line, the owner rings him up. She tries to give it back to the owner.)

Customer: “I don’t need my receipt. Thanks.”

Owner: “No, you have to take it!”

Customer: *crumples receipt into a ball, throws it on the floor, and walks out of store*

Owner: *turns red*

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Got A Sinking Feeling About This

| Working | November 21, 2012

Me: “Hi [coworker], I lost my keys. Could you take this mop bucket and dump it in the sink in the cleaning cupboard for me, please? I want to go see if [other coworker] picked mine up by mistake.”

Coworker: “What do you want me to do with it?”

Me: “Dump it in the sink in the cleaning cupboard.”

Coworker: “Where do you want me to pour it?”

Me: “In the sink in the cleaning cupboard in the toilets.”

Coworker: “You want me to pour it down the toilet?”

Me: “No, the sink in the cleaning cupboard BEHIND the toilets.”

Coworker: “Oh, okay! I’ll pour it down the toilet sinks.”

Me: “…No, the sink in the cleaning cupboard.”

Coworker: “Which cupboard?”

Me: “The one in the back of the toilets!”

Coworker: “Oh, okay! The sink in the cleaning cupboard at the back of the toilets!”

Me: “YES!”

(Five seconds later…)

Coworker: “What did you want me to do again?”

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