Someone Please Shatter The Triforce Of Chauvinism

| Provo, UT, USA | Working | September 26, 2012

(For my brother’s birthday, my parents have set up a treasure hunt all over the city. I am going with him. We’ve stopped in various businesses when the employees are excited to be included, giving us the clue and/or present my parents left and wishing my brother a happy birthday. Keep in mind my brother has a unisex name, while I am female.)

My Brother: “Oh, wow! I get to go to !”

Me: “Yeah, I wonder what the next clue is…”

My Brother: “Oh, crap! I have to go to the bathroom! You get the clue!”

(My brother runs off while I walk into the store and talk to the cashier.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any notes for [brother’s name]?”

Male Cashier: “UGH, they left this for a GIRL?”

(The cashier holds up Skyward Sword, a very popular Zelda video game that my brother and I want.)

Me: “Despite the fact I really want that game, it’s for—”

Male Cashier: “I bet you only want it because your boyfriend plays it and you want to impress him! Do you even have a Wii?”

Me: “I am single, and of course, I have a Wii, PS2, Gamecube, and a 3DS. Can I have the game now?”

Male Cashier: “See?! You’re lying! There is no such thing as a Gamecube!”

Me: “Yes, there is. It just is outdated. Can I PLEASE have the game?”

(At this point, my brother comes running into the store.)

My Brother: “Oh, hey Sis! Did you get my game?”

(Seeing him, the cashier instantly hands the game to my brother.)

Male Cashier: “You’re lucky, sir! She almost stole your game!”

My Brother: *laughs* “Yeah, we both wanted this game for a while.”

Male Cashier: “LIES!  She thinks that a ‘Gamecube’ existed!”

My Brother: “It did. We have one.”

Male Cashier: “You’re lying! GAMECUBE NEVER EXISTED!”

(We ran as soon as we could out of there!)

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In Other News, Earnings Are Also In The Toilet

| Oregon, USA | Working | September 26, 2012

(I’m at a mandatory training session for experienced employees. Note that everyone at the training has done this job for years and we know each other pretty well. We’re using toilet paper for an icebreaker exercise.)

Manager #1: *tosses all his toilet paper at Manager #2*

Manager #2: “Ugh, [Manager #1]! You’re cleaning that up.”

Manager #1: “Whatever.”

(Our boss turns on a video and everyone turns to watch it. One employee who’s sitting behind Manager #1 starts putting pieces of toilet paper in his hair. He finally notices and grabs it off his head and shoves it in his mouth.)

Manager #2: “Did you just eat that?”

Manager #1: *spitting it out* “It’s dry!”

Someone Will Answer

| Working | September 25, 2012

This Apple Pie Doesn’t Fall Far From The Geometry

| Ohio, USA | Working | September 25, 2012

(I’m a high school math teacher. I also own a bakery, which is only open in the summer. Typically, I only hire teenagers who I’ve taught in class. That way, I don’t have to go through a lengthy interview process; I already know that they’re good workers.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

Woman: “Yeah, I spoke to someone who said you were hiring?”

Me: “Well, we’re not hiring right now, but I can give you an application to fill out.”

Woman: “What do you mean, you’re not hiring?! I know you hired a girl just a few weeks ago!”

Me: “Yes, but all the positions have been filled. We’re a small business.”

Woman: “Listen here: I know that you hire without interviews, and I want a job right now!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Woman: “Not until I get a job!”

Me: “No. Get out.”

Woman: “You can’t treat me this way! I know the owner! I’m the owner’s sister!”

Me: “Wow, [sister’s name], I thought you lived in Florida! What are you doing all the way up here?”

Woman: “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Me: “I am the owner. I’ve never seen you before in my life, and I’m sure as h*** not going to give you a job. Now get out.”

Woman: *turns white and leaves as quickly as she can*

(The best part? That fall, I had to have a parent-teacher conference with one of my students who was rude and bullied other kids. You’ll never guess who his mother was!)

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The Six Dollar Man

| USA | Working | September 25, 2012

(I am a customer at a fast food restaurant. It’s a small location and a bit crowded.)

Worker #1: “273!”

(I try to push through the crowd to gather my order. I’m almost there when another worker pushes another tray onto the counter, pushing some of the unclaimed orders around and knocking mine off the counter. He looks at the ruined food, then up at me with a reassuring stare.)

Worker #2:  “We can rebuild it. We have the technology.”

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