Being Airheaded Is A Condition

| Lansing, MI, USA | Working | September 6, 2012

Me: “Hi, I bought my central air conditioner from you, and it’s not working. I have the extended service contract, so I need to schedule someone to come fix it.”

Employee #1: “What type is it?”

Me: “It is [major brand, model type].”

Employee #1: “We don’t service that brand.”

Me: “Yes, you do. It is the preferred brand of your corporation. Also, I have the service contract sitting in front of me. Why would you sell me a service contract if you won’t provide service?”

Employee #1: “I’m sure we don’t service [major brand].”

Me: “I’m sure you do. Can you check, or else transfer me to a supervisor?”

Employee #1: “Fine, whatever. Hold.”

(I am put on hold for several minutes)

Employee #1: “All right, we can service that brand. Just bring it in to one of our service centers.”

Me: “As I said, it’s a central air conditioner. I don’t know how to uninstall it, nor could I lift it or drive it to your store. If I tried to uninstall it myself, that would probably void the contract.”

Employee #1: “Well, that’s your problem. You’ll have to bring it in. That’s all we can do.”

(I hang up but call back. Thankfully, I get a different employee.)

Me: “Hi, I just called to get someone to fix my central air conditioner, which is under a service contract. First, the employee told me you don’t service [major brand] despite selling me a service contract for it. Then he said that I had to bring it in to a service center to be fixed.”

Employee #2: “Of course we service [major brand]. And he wanted you to bring it to a service center? Did you explain that it’s a central air conditioner?”

Me: “Yes. I don’t think he understood the concept.”

Employee #2: *sigh* “I’m sorry, sir, some of our employees are idiots.”

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Up Yours Too!

| Working | September 5, 2012

Next Time, Just Lend A Helping Hand

, | USA | Working | September 5, 2012

(I’m the customer, and witness the following exchange. A girl of about 10 is at the counter getting food. She seems to only have one arm.)

Girl: “Mom, this tray is too heavy. Can you help?”

Girl’s Mother: “Sure, no problem.”

Employee: “Are you stupid? Use two hands!”

Girl: “I only have one.”

Employee: “You put your arm in your shirt. You kids always do that!”

Girl’s Mother: “Madam, my daughter was born with one arm.”

Employee: “Don’t let her be lazy! She’s hiding her arm inside her shirt to make you carry the tray. It’s stupid!”

Girl’s Mother: “She really has one arm!”

Girl: *pulls sleeve showing only a stump instead of another arm*

Employee: *speechless*

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Don’t Get This Owner Fired Up

| Denver, CO, USA | Working | September 5, 2012

(My friend works at a Russian-owned coffee shop. One day, he returns from a smoke break and the phone rings; the owner answers.)

Owner: “Allo? Da… Da… Nyet… Nyet… Da… NYET! Goodbye!”

(The owner then walks over to my friend and tells him the following…)

Owner: “Customer call. He says you smoke outside of shop. He doesn’t like it. If he says anything to you, you look at him and you say, ‘F*** YOU!'”

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Eye Hope You See The Flaw In Your Logic

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Working | September 5, 2012

(I’m trying to get into a bar, and the bouncer cards me. I hand him my ID.)

Bouncer: “This doesn’t look like you. Are you sure this is yours?”

Me: “Yes!”

Bouncer: “What’s your name?”

Me: *I answer*

Bouncer: “Address?”

Me: *I answer*

Bouncer: “Height?”

Me: *I answer*

Bouncer: “Eye colour?”

(I start to answer, but he interrupts.)

Bouncer: “Wait, no cheating!” *covers my eyes with his hand*

Me: “Wait, did you just cover MY eyes so I couldn’t see what colour they were?”

Bouncer: *completely serious* “Yes.”

Me: *speechless*

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