When The Chic Seek The Geek

| Working | October 23, 2012

(I am the “token” girl at the campus IT department. I also happen to really like video games and cartoons and weird trivia, so I’m also known as being something of a “geek.” Note: My coworker dresses in a sort of chic urban way and is a typical athletic “cool” guy.)

Coworker: “Hey [my name], I wanna be a geek, y’know?”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I wanna be a geek like you! I already ordered some of those geeky thick rim glasses online. What else do I need to do?”

Me: “Wait… you mean like hipster glasses?”

Coworker: “Yeah, that whole geek thing is real popular right now, but I don’t really wanna wear those tight jeans. Is there some other option for that?”

Me: “Uh, I don’t know.”

Coworker: “Oh. Well, I’ll wear my glasses to work when they come in and you can tell me if I look geeky enough!”

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A Fatheaded Answer

| Working | October 23, 2012

(I’m getting married in two weeks, so I’m trying to eat healthy at a salad bar. I see a salad that is 97% fat free but has nothing about the sugar content.)

Me: “Hi, I was just wondering what is in the dressing on that salad?”

Employee: “Uh, it’s a Tahini dressing.”

Me: “Oh, okay, but what’s in it?”

Employee: “Um…”

Me: “I just want to know if it has much sugar in it.”

Employee: “Oh. Well, it’s 97% fat free, so there won’t be much sugar in it.”

Me: “Just because it’s 97% fat free doesn’t mean there is not much sugar in it. In fact, things that are 97% fat free usually have more sugar in them than usual.”

Employee: “No, it’s 97% fat free, so that means there won’t be much sugar in it!”

Me: “Marshmallows are 99% fat free. How much sugar do you think is in them?”

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A Return To Decency

| Working | October 22, 2012

(This takes place while I am standing in line waiting to return a few items. At this point myself and two other customers have been waiting for 20+ minutes for a manager on duty to come and approve our returns with their code. As we wait, a line begins to form and the cashier politely asks if we are okay with moving to the second lane to wait.)

Cashier: “Once again, I am so sorry for your wait. I have no idea where she could be!”

Me: “That’s okay. Are you sure she is alright? Maybe you should check on her?”

Cashier: “Maybe you’re right…” *pages overhead* “Excuse me shoppers, [manager], will you please call the front desk?”

(We wait another 5 minutes or so. Finally, a woman with a deep scowl on her face walks slowly up to the registers and rolls her eyes at the cashier.)

Manager: “What the h*** is your problem, [cashier]? You need to learn some patience! How dare you call out over the speaker so many times! I should write you up for being so annoying! Don’t you know how to do your job?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but I had a line of customers with returns and the line was getting longer even when they moved to the side for purchasing customer—”

Manager: “I dont care what you have to say! You need to learn patience! I was trying to secure the money! You…” *points to me* “…what do you need?”

(Note that at this point, the cashier, who has been very friendly during the entire ordeal, is near tears.)

Me: “I have a return.” *to the cashier* “I would just like to tell you that as a Human Resource Manager your attitude and demeanor during this exchange has been impressive. You did a superb job in keeping us as happy as possible while trying to serve other customers under the circumstances you were given. And though your manager is right—she should not leave the money unsecured—she could have contacted you at any point in the last nearly 30 minutes to relay that information to you. And I would not worry about her reporting you, considering she made the wrong decision to berate you in front of 10 customers. Especially this customer!”

(The manager looked at me in startled silence and quickly processed my return. Before I left, I made sure that I made eye contact with both of them as I took out my phone and called their corporate line file my own complaint; every customer in line also followed suit.)

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It’d Be A Marvel If They Did, Part 2

| Working | October 22, 2012

(At our grocery store, a little boy dressed as Iron Man is lost. He is too distressed to tell us his name, so we were able to reunite him with his dad by up paging for “Iron Man’s father.” The next day, my manager and I are joking about it.)

Manager: “Will Ben Stark come up to the front desk?”

Me:Howard Stark.”

Manager: “What? I thought it was Ben.”

Me: “Nope, definitely Howard.”

Manager: “Let me check.” *gets on his phone* “You’re right. You’re fired.”

Me: “I would be proud to be fired for out-nerding my boss!”


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Postage Duh-e

, | Working | October 22, 2012

(I’m calling my health insurance company, which is located about 500 km away from Berlin. I have just moved to Berlin a month ago and have not yet changed my address.)

Worker: “This is [health insurance company]. You’re speaking with [name]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, this is [my name]. I need a certificate of entitlement to benefits in kind, during a stay abroad. I’m going to visit Slovenia.”

Worker: “Okay, no problem. That would be E111 form. I’ll send it to you.”

Me: “Thank you, but you have to send it to a different address because I recently moved to Berlin. It’s [Berlin address].

Worker: “Oh, that’s a problem. How do I send the form to Berlin?”

Me: *confused* “Uhm… well, did I mumble? Should I repeat the address?”

Worker: “I got the whole address, but HOW do I send the form to Berlin?”

Me: *jokingly* “…With a carrier pigeon? Or maybe you could write the address on an envelope?”

Worker: “Oh, yes! I could write the address onto the envelope!”

Me: “Great we could work that out. So thanks for your effort.”

(Until I received the letter, I was wondering if she could do it!)

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