Discretion Is The Better Part Of Disclosure, Part 2

| Working | November 20, 2012

(I’m a customer waiting in line. The young woman in front of me is being served by a nice but somewhat ditzy cashier.)

Cashier: “Oh, whoops! These aren’t scanning. I’ll just get a price check.”

(The cashier holds up a little blue box and starts waving it around, then shouts to a coworker in one of the aisles.)

Cashier: “Yo, [coworker]! I need a price check on these [brand] condoms in XXL size!”

Young Woman: *blushes* “Oh my God, don’t worry about them. I’ll just get these.”

Coworker: *shouts back* “WHAT KIND?!”

Cashier: “EXTENDED PLEASURE!”

Young Woman: *looks mortified and practically runs out of the store*

 

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Someone Needs To Get His Brain In Gear, Part 2

| Working | November 20, 2012

(I have just gotten pulled over by the police, but I’m not sure why.)

Me: “Is something wrong, Officer?”

Officer: “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Me: “Um, 38, I think?”

Officer: “And do you know what the speed limit is here?”

(I do know the speed limit, as I drive this stretch of road daily.)

Me: “40?”

Officer: *looks confused* “…Well, you have a nice day then!”

 

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Giving Customer Service A Bad Name, Part 4

, | Working | November 20, 2012

(I am not Arabic, but my name, Khadijah, is. On my way home from school, I stop for a bite at a fast food place. I’ve forgotten to take off my school ID, which has my name printed in rather big letters.)

Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

(I pay her. As she takes the money, I notice her squint her eyes at my school ID.)

Cashier: “What the heck? What does that say?”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “Your school ID? That’s your name?”

Me: “Oh! Yes, I guess I forgot to take it off. My name is Khadijah.”

(She tries to repeat my name, but says it wrong. She then scoffs as if she’s annoyed.)

Cashier: “You black people are all the same. Why can’t you have normal names instead of made up s***?”

Me: “Excuse me? My name is not made up! It’s of Arabic origin.”

Cashier: “Then you need to get a name that’s American if you’re gonna live here. But really, ‘Khadijah’ sounds like something from the ghetto. I feel sorry for you with that name. People will think you’re some kind of trash w***e or something.”

Me: “Well, it’s not, and I like my name very much, thank you! And, FYI, I was born in this country and have lived here my whole life. May I please just have my food?”

Cashier: *shuts up and gives me my food*

(Thankfully when I went there a few weeks later, I learned she’d been fired for her comments to me.)

 

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Better Than The Red Skull-Mandarin Ticket

| Working | November 19, 2012

(It’s Election Day, and I’m in line to vote. I’m wearing a t-shirt that says “Rogers-Stark 2012: Avenge America”.)

Poll Worker: “Miss, can I see your shirt? Candidate shirts aren’t allowed here.”

Me: “It’s a joke. They’re not actually on the ballot.”

Poll Worker: *to her supervisor* “Can you take a look at this?”

Supervisor: *looks at my shirt* “It’s Captain America, for heaven’s sake! It’s fine!”

Me: “Thank you.”

Supervisor: “If Captain America was on the ballot, I’d still let you wear the shirt!”

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Equal Measures Of Stupidity

| Working | November 19, 2012

Me: “Can I please have a 12 inch veggie sub on wheat?”

Employee: “A what?”

Me: “…Can I please have a 12 inch veggie sub on wheat?”

Employee: *rudely* “We don’t have 12 inch subs. Just 6 inch and foot long!”

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