Driving Customers Away

| KY, USA | Working | September 22, 2012

(I am a twenty-three-year old college student, but I can’t drive for medical reasons. On this particular day, I’ve ridden to the store with a friend to keep her company. She’s paying for groceries while talking to me when the cashier starts up a conversation.)

Cashier: “College students?”

My Friend: “Oh, yeah. We go to [college name]! Did the ramen and energy drinks give it away?”

Cashier: “Heh. Yeah, kind of. Actually, I go to [other college] right now. Sucks to have to drive an hour to get there.”

Me: “Yeah, I kinda get that feeling. I used to have to walk an hour to class before I transferred to [college name].”

Cashier: *confused* “Why didn’t you just drive?”

Me: “I can’t drive, actually.”

Cashier: “You can’t drive?”

Me: “Nuh-uh.”

Cashier: “And you go to college?”

Me: “…Yes?”

Cashier: “You are destined to fail!”

(At this point, my friend and I are just staring at her, speechless.)

Cashier: “What’s wrong with you?! You should just quit school right now. People who can’t drive can’t be a part of society. You absolutely HAVE to have a car to do anything!”

Me: “Er… I’ve… actually never had any problems out of it.”

Cashier: “But you WILL! What if you get a job two hours away?”

Me: “… I move two hours away? I moved two hours away to finish college.”

Cashier: “Do you have a job?”

Me: “I’m a receptionist.”

Cashier: “How do you get to work?!”

Me: “I walk?”

Cashier: “Drop out or learn to drive!”

(As we’re walking out, my friend stops and turns to me.)

My Friend: “I have no idea what just happened, but I think everyone involved is dumber for the experience.”

1 Thumbs

How May I Grope You

| WA, USA | Working | September 21, 2012

(Note: I am female, and so is the server.)

Server: “Hi! Take a seat anywhere. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Me: “Oh, actually I just need something to go. I’ll wait by the counter. No hurry.”

Server: “Okey dokey! Oh! I love your shirt! Let me see!”

(Suddenly, she rushes over and PULLS my vest open at my chest to get a better look at my t-shirt.)

Me: *shocked* “AH! Okay, uh… thanks. I was just going to order some—”

Server: “Cute purse, too! Oh, I just have to show this to Cindy!”

(The server quickly slides the purse off my arm and brings it over to the other guests in the restaurant.)

Me: “Could I get that back? I just remembered I have to be somewhere.”

Server: *oblivious* “Where?”

Me: “Somewhere where no one will grab at my clothing.”

(I slowly back out of the restaurant. Through the window, I see the server watching me and tilting her head like a confused puppy.)

1 Thumbs

Deep Ditz Pizza

| Pennsylvania, USA | Working | September 21, 2012

(I am trying to order a pizza for a party I am having. A college-aged employee is taking my order.)

Me: “One meat lovers and one extra cheese. Make them both larges, please.”

Employee: “Okay, so one large cheese. Is that everything?”

Me: “No, I need a meat lovers and an extra cheese.”

Employee: “Oh, why didn’t you say that? $28.50.”

Me: “Don’t you need my name?”

Employee: “Oh, yes. I almost forgot!”

Me: “Smith. You know how to spell that, right?”

Employee: “Oh, yes. Now I need your name.”

Me: “I just told you.”

Employee: “Oh.”

Me: “How long will it be?”

Employee: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Can you find out?”

Employee: “Yes.” *yells to her coworkers* “How long for two pies?!” *pauses for an answer, which I can’t hear* “Okay!” *to me* “I found out!” *hangs up*

I Think We Can Man-age

| Auckland, New Zealand | Working | September 21, 2012

(I’m a woman working with two of my male coworkers. Note that all the female employees have or are studying towards a university degree.)

Male Coworker: “It’s so annoying that [boss] is coming in today to cash up. Why can’t one of us just do it?”

Me: “Well, has he taught you how to do it?”

Male Coworker: “Well, no, but how hard can it be?” [Female Coworker #1] and [Female Coworker #2] can both do it.”

Me: “Well, yeah, it makes sense that he teaches them to do it since they work full-time. One of them is almost always here if [boss] isn’t working.”

Male Coworker: “Fine, but I’m smarter than them! He should teach me to do it!”

Me: “What makes you think you’re smarter than them?”

Male Coworker: “They’re women! Of course you wouldn’t understand.”

Me: *sarcastically* “We also got into university and actually do our jobs well, so I guess there’s that.”

Male Coworker: “Like I said, you wouldn’t understand!”

Fake Devotion

| Working | September 21, 2012


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