July Themed Giveaway Roundup #2: Crazy & Lazy Employees!

, | Not Always Working | Working | July 29, 2012

Hey readers! Crazy & Lazy Employees continues! Check out these stories we’ve already received for the July Themed Story Giveaway:

Got a Crazy & Lazy Employees story of your own? Submit it for a chance to win a Not Always Working T-shirt!

Submitting is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a story based on the theme-of-the-month: Crazy & Lazy Employees!
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!

PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt: Wednesday, August 1!

Cordless & Clueless

| New Jersey, USA | Working | July 29, 2012

(As the systems builder in my office, I send out a brand new laptop to a coworker who lives in a remote location. I get a call from that coworker.)

Coworker: “So, I finally got around to opening the laptop you sent me. I tried to turn it on, and the battery was dead. I think the laptop needs to be replaced. Why did you send me a bad laptop?”

Me: “Did you plug in the power cord?”

Coworker: “It has a battery. Why would I need to do that?!”

The Many Varying Degrees Of Intelligence

| Sydney, Australia | Working | July 28, 2012

(I have just enrolled in university where I will be studying full time, leaving me little time for work. I am therefore applying for government payments. This exchange takes place when I am giving the social worker my details.)

Social Worker: “Alright, so you are about to start university. What is your course called?”

Me: “Bachelor of Arts, Pathway to Secondary Teaching. When I pass that, I will automatically go into the Masters in Teaching.”

Social Worker: “And how long does the course go for? Six months? A year?”

Me: “No. Three years for the Bachelor and a year and a half for the Masters.”

Social Worker: *jaw drops* “FOUR YEARS?!”

Me: “Um, yes. Three years is actually the shortest course you can do; my brother-in-law’s was seven.”

Social Worker: “NO WAY!” *regains her composure* “Alright, and how many hours a week will you be studying?”

Me: “Officially, I’m required to do ten hours a week for each unit: two at university, and eight in my own time. I’m doing four units a semester.”

Social Worker: “So that’s four hours a week? You should still be able to work if it’s only that small an amount.”

Me: “No, there are four UNITS, and I have to study for ten hours a week for each of them.”

Social Worker: “So, ten hours a week?”

Me: “Per unit. And I am doing four. I have to do ten hours of study for each unit per week.”

Social Worker: “That’s forty hours.”

Me: “Yes.”

Social Worker: “So, you have to do forty hours of study a week … per unit.”

Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

(A few days later, I was called because the system wasn’t registering my course. Despite me telling her the precise name, she wrote down ‘Bachelor of Teaching Masters.’ I don’t know how my claim ever managed to be processed.)

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It Was A Drive By Pooping

| USA | Working | July 27, 2012

(I’ve just had general check up at the doctor’s office. I receive a bill and find some charges for procedures I haven’t had done. So, I call their billing department.)

Me: “Hi, there is a charge for procedure [number] that I don’t recognize.”

Employee: “Yes, that was for stool culture.”

Me: “I didn’t have such an analysis.”

Employee: “But it says that you have.”

Me: “I definitely haven’t… uh… brought you any specimens.”

Employee: “Oh, that was just a smear.”

Me: “I’m sure I didn’t have such tests done.”

Employee: “Oh, they do it so quick you probably didn’t even notice!”

Me: *speechless*

Punch-Clock Drunk

| Texas, USA | Working | July 27, 2012

(One of my coworkers stumbles into the office a few minutes late, looking decidedly under the weather.)

Coworker: “Hey, I did my best to show up on time, but I’m feeling really, really sick. May I please take a personal day?”

Me: “You don’t look well at all. Just go home and get some rest, okay? I’ll handle everything here.”

Coworker: “Thank you so much. I really do appreciate this.”

(My coworker then leans over and whispers loudly to another coworker in the cubicle next to hers.)

Coworker: “I’m totally still drunk!”

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