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Bad boss and coworker stories

Going On Ad-Museum

| Working | August 5, 2017

(The history park has a small museum near the entrance. Every school day, one Roman Age employee is sent there to intercept the incoming school groups, in order to make sure that they all have a tour through the museum. Our director, who is clearly not the most reasonable and socially adept person in the world, insists on this, even when the teachers don’t want it. When the teachers refuse, he has a tendency to blame the employees for not following his orders. He is nicknamed “the Village Idiot” This morning, I’m the one on museum duty. However, I am also scheduled to do a group tour at 10:15 am, which leaves me very little time for museum duty. This is obviously a schedule error, but I decide to follow it, so that the school class is not without a guide. That school turns out to be the first one to arrive.)

Me: “Good morning. I believe your group will be split in two and one half has a tour this morning. Is that right?”

Teacher: “Yes, indeed.”

Me: “Good. I will be your tour guide. Before we start, the group is invited to visit our [Museum]. It starts out with a little documentary. After that, you can also decide to take a look in the museum halls.”

Teacher: “All right. Seeing the video is nice. But I don’t think we need to go that long into the museum. That way, we can start on time with the tour.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll accompany our half to the Roman Age. The other half could stay and look around here if you like.”

Teacher: “Thank you, but I think it would be better for them to start out in the park too. They have assignments to do, you see.”

(I decide not to argue and comply with their wishes. After all, they are our clients and I can’t force them to do something they don’t want to. Several minutes later, I take my group to the Roman Age part of the park. I start doing the tour. However, in the middle of my first story, the Village Idiot arrives by bike, as he always does, and interrupts.)

Village Idiot: “Where’s that school you were with in the museum?”

Me: “That’s the one here. They have a tour.”

Village Idiot: “No, the other ones! The other half!”

Me: “Oh, they went into the park on their own to do assignments.”

Village Idiot: “No, no, they can’t! They’re supposed to stay at the museum for much longer. You should go back there, [My Name].”

(It is as I feared. The tour is getting in danger of being interrupted and messed up by him. I know that if I obey, the group will stay here without a tour guide, while the Village Idiot won’t look for a replacement, leaving them to figure it out themselves. Instead he will just blame the planner for “doing things wrong.” So, contrary to my obedient nature, I decide to stay firm and do the wisest thing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t leave. This group has a tour now.”

Village Idiot: “No, you have to go back to the museum right now!”

Me: “No, I can’t. This group has a tour and they paid for it!”

(That last argument is exactly the one thing he can be sensitive about: money. The man does what he usually does when realising he can’t win an argument: turn around and push off without a word.)

School Kid: *jokingly* “Oh, dear, we have to leave now?”

Me: “Not at all. The man shouldn’t be meddling with us.”

(In the meantime, I see the Village Idiot cycling towards a colleague of mine.)

Village Idiot: *stressed out* “It’s all going wrong already!”

(Rest of the day I felt triumphant for finally standing up against that fool who calls himself director but always messes up schedules without caring about the consequences, and blaming people for his own stupidity.)

They’re Black-Listed

| Working | August 5, 2017

(My coworker at a video rental store is half African-American but often mistaken for being Filipino, which he expresses comical exasperation about each time it happens — it becomes a bit of a joke. One night, he gets into an altercation with a customer over renting a video game. The conversation has built up to a boiling point.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot let you rent a video game unless you have a valid credit card on file.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! Do you not understand how currency works? I want to pay cash!

Coworker: “I understand that, sir, but the system won’t let me process this transaction unless I can scan your card.”

(The customer is holding a placement box that doesn’t contain the actual game disc. He abruptly storms off with it in hand, but he pauses at the door and slams the box on the counter.)

Customer: “Here’s your empty box back, you [very offensive term for an African-American]!”

Coworker: *turns to me with an amazed expression* “He actually knew I’m Black!”


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We Love You IT Guy!

| Working | August 4, 2017

(There’s an IT guy at our work who is very friendly, but also tends to be very sarcastic. Being kind of a nerd, he just has a problem with people who don’t understand computers.)

IT Guy: “Boy, you must be glad that breathing is a reflex. If you’d have to think about it, you’d suffocated a long time ago.”

IT Guy: “I guess you do have a purpose in God’s plans. It’s just a pity God doesn’t exist.”

IT Guy: *whistling just one monotonous tone* “In films that’s the tone you hear when someone’s brain-dead. Just asking me that question about computers makes me believe this applies to you.”

IT Guy: “I hear they found a cure for Ebola. Then why is it they haven’t found a cure for you?”

IT Guy: “I guess our company uses a zero-intelligence policy when they are hiring people.”

IT Guy: “ICT stands for Internal Communication Trouble.”

IT Guy: “Well, you could reinstall your system, perform a complete virus-scan or do a system-restore, but you could also consider to put the plug in the outlet.”

IT Guy: “Yep. That’s me. Sarcasm, irony, or just plain cynicism.”

IT Guy: “You might hate me. I don’t care. I can make all your documents disappear.”

That Joke Cuts No Cheese With Them

| Working | August 4, 2017

(When I moved to a new neighborhood, I took a trip to the local market. At the time, I didn’t know that they kept fancier cheeses separate from the more ordinary or bulk bag cheeses. I grab the nearby stocker.)

Me: “Excuse me, I can’t find any gouda. Do you have gouda?”

Employee: “Let me look.” *he scans everything just like I did* “I don’t think so. We have cheddar.”

Me: *said with a smile* “Well, that’s not gouda.”

Employee: *frowns, pauses and points* “We have cheddar.”

Me: “Never mind.”

Your Credit Score Is Underage

| Working | August 4, 2017

(My 12-year-old son has a cell phone so he can reach us in case of emergency. One day, his phone rings with a number he doesn’t recognize.)

Son “Hello?” *pauses a moment and hands me the phone* “Someone from Credit Card Services?” *whispers* “I think it’s a scammer!”

Me: “Hello?”

Scammer: “Yes, this is Courtney from Credit Card services and I’d like to offer you a chance to lower your bills!”

Me: “Why are you calling my 12-year-old’s phone?”

Scammer: “I am from Credit Card Services and I am offering you a chance to lower your bills.”

Me: “But why are you calling a 12-year-old? He doesn’t have a credit card.”

Scammer: “But this is a chance to lower your interest rates to lower your bills!”

Me: “But you called a TWELVE YEAR OLD. He DOES NOT have a credit card.”

Scammer: “But you can lower—”

Me: “NO! You have NO REASON to call a 12-year-old CHILD about this, as HE DOES NOT HAVE A CREDIT CARD. Do you understand? Now take me o—”

Scammer: *click*