It’s Always Surrey In Philadelphia

| Minnesota, USA | Working | November 8, 2012

(I’m an obviously Caucasian woman whose Irish and Scots ancestors came to the US in the mid-1700s. I moved to Minnesota after spending most of my life in Pennsylvania. I am a customer buying a a new suitcase and travel-size toiletries.)

Cashier: “Going camping?”

Me: “No, I’m going home to visit my family in Pennsylvania.”

Cashier: *smiles brightly* “Oh, I’ve heard of that! It’s in Europe, right?”

(I laugh before I realize she isn’t joking.)

Me: “Um, no. PENN-sylvania. You know, below New York, above Maryland.”

Cashier: *looks baffled*

Me: “Where the Declaration of Independence was written?”

Cashier: *confused look* “Well, I think you’ll do really good here. You don’t even look foreign and you speak English really well! Enjoy your trip!”

Explaining Ellen Pt. 2

| Working | November 8, 2012

November Themed Story Giveaway: You’re Fired!

Not Always Working | Working | November 8, 2012
Want to win A Not Always Working t-shirt?
Enter November’s Themed Story Giveaway: You’re Fired!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about anyone getting fired (employees, coworkers, bosses, even you!).
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Working shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning October’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Geeks At Work. The winning submission: When The Chic Seek The Geek (282 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, December 5!

Anno Dumbini

| Melbourne, Australia | Working | November 7, 2012

Me: “Do you really think people believed that six thousand years ago?”

Coworker: “The world isn’t six thousand years old!”

Me: “Sorry, are you religious? Four thousand years, then.”

Coworker: “No, the world is 2012 years old!”

Me: “Seriously? When were the ancient Egyptians around?”

Coworker: “2012 years ago!”

Me: “And the dinosaurs?”

Coworker: “2012 years.”

Me: “Evolution?”

Coworker: “I’m not stupid. Evolution is happening all the time!”

Me: “Starting when?”

Coworker: “2012 YEARS AGO!”

Begging To Be Bagged

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | November 7, 2012

(I’m in line to pay for my groceries and I have two bags with me. I’ve bought some dairy and a chicken that is just out of the oven, so it’s really hot. Note: I have a broken wrist, so it’s faster and less painful when I let employees pack my groceries.)

Me: “Hi! Could you please put the dairy in a separate bag from the chicken? I don’t want my milk to heat.”

Cashier: “I don’t understand you.”

Me: “I have two bags. Just put the cold stuff in one, and the chicken in the other, as I don’t want my milk to be bagged with something hot.”

Cashier: “Then you want to buy a third bag for your other things?”

Me: “No, I just don’t want the cold stuff with the chicken. All the other stuff can be shared between the two bags.”

Cashier: “I’ll have to charge you for an extra bag, then.”

Me: “No. I just don’t want the chicken with the milk. I don’t care about the rest. One bag will have my dairy and some room temperature groceries. The other bag will have my chicken and other room temperature groceries. No need for a third bag.”

Cashier: “I don’t understand you. How do you want your groceries to be bagged?”

Me: “Chicken in a bag, milk in the other, and share the rest between the two bags.”

(Still not understanding me, the cashier puts the chicken and the milk in a bag, and the rest in the other bag.)

Me: “No, not like that. Chicken in one bag, milk in the other. My milk will go bad with all the heat from the chicken.”

Cashier: “Then I’ll have to charge you for a third bag.”

Me: “Never mind, I’ll do it myself…”

(I unpack everything and put the chicken in one bag with cereal and cans, and then put milk and yogurt with pasta and other cans.)

Me: “See? Chicken in one bag, milk in the other. Was that so hard to understand?”

Cashier: *angrily* “Why the f*** can’t people express clearly what they want? I can’t know what you want if you don’t tell me! No need to talk to me like that!”

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