(I work at a restaurant doing carryout. It’s our downtime, so all employees are supposed to help out wherever they’re needed. The girl who’s on the register does not get up to help at all. Mind you, I’m on carryout by myself and five different customers come up all at once. I grab a different coworker to come to help me. While this coworker is taking an order, the phone rings and she puts it on hold.)

Coworker: “[My Name], there’s an order on the phone.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it in a minute.”

Lazy Coworker: “Who’d you say it was on the phone?”

Coworker: “[Regular Customer].”

([Regular Customer] always tips.)

Lazy Coworker: “I’ll get it!”

(When [Regular Customer] came to pick up his food, he did not tip! She only helped out to try and get that tip and he didn’t even tip this time! Karma.)

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(Once in a while, and only on Saturdays, they have four to eight people working on papers at a table in the back. It’s literally the easiest thing you can do there since all you have to do is put a paper in a bigger pile of papers, carry it over to a machine, and push it through. That’s it. One night, a new girl comes in.)

Me: “Hello.”

New Girl: “Hey…”

(Shortly after that we get the papers. We start and then about an hour later this gem happens:)

New Girl: *sigh* “I’m going on break.”

Me: “Uh, you can’t just go on break. Wait until they send you.”

New Girl: “Well, when are they going to do that?”

Me: “It’s gonna be a short night so, honestly, I don’t think we’ll get one, but maybe we’ll get a ten minute break later.”

New Girl: “No break…? Isn’t that, like, illegal?”

Me: “Well, no. New Jersey law says that you only get a half hour break after six hours. Since this only takes about four hours, we won’t get a break. I’ve done this a few times, though, so I know that eventually we’ll run out of paper and we’ll get a short break. It might be even longer if the machine breaks down instead.”

New Girl: “So you’re telling me that after touching this dirty paper for about an hour, I’m not even going to get a break.”

Me: “Yes… but there’s a good chance we wi—”

New Girl: *scoffs* “I’m going on break.”

(She grabbed her phone and left. I and other people working at the time were flabbergasted. We did eventually get our break, but she wouldn’t know since she was gone for about an hour or two. She eventually came back and continued to work for the remaining hour and then left. I’m glad she didn’t look at me during that hour, since I’m positive I glared at her every time I looked her way. Luckily, that was the only time that happened since I haven’t seen her there since.)

(A couple of years ago I visited New York for a week. The morning before I flew back to the Netherlands, I visited an outlet mall very near the Newark airport. It’s incredibly hot weather, and it’s clear that the a/c at some of the stores can’t keep up. I visit a store where I find a beautiful leather travel bag that originally sold for $720 but is now on sale for $320 — a big discount but still quite a lot of money for me. A very friendly young saleswoman approaches me to see if I need assistance. She is very helpful and sweet, despite the fact that she and her co-worker are working in sauna temperatures.)

Me: “I really like this bag, but I’m sorry to say it’s a bit too much for me for an impulse buy!”

Saleswoman: “No problem, I totally understand. Let me check in the computer if there are any discounts I could offer.”

(She checks while I browse and find some socks and two belts that I certainly want.)

Saleswoman: “If you go to the concierge desk and ask for a coupon book, you can get a 20% discount!”

Me: “How can I say no to that?!”

(I leave my items on the counter, and go to the concierge desk. When I return to the store, I pass a coffee shop and get iced lattes for me and the two salespersons. When I get back to the store:)

Saleswoman: “I ordered the bag online for you, to pick up here and now, which gives you another 10% off!”

Me: “Wow, that is so cool! Okay if I thank you for that with these lattes?”

(They both were very pleasantly surprised and thanked me. I browsed a bit more, and headed for the checkout to pay for the bag, which they already had packed for me. They thanked me again for the lattes, and I left. The next day, back home in the Netherlands, I unpacked the travel bag. When I opened it, inside I found the socks and the belts, gift-wrapped, and a note that said: “You made our day! XOXO Haley & Michelle.”)

(It’s been a very cold winter so far. My manager has told me not to sell any propane tanks on our shift, as we work thirds. I’m at the front end and it’s about 11:30 at night and I’m preparing for the registers to reset.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, I was just wondering if I could get a propane tank.”

Me: *wincing* “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell propane tanks at this time at night.”

Elderly Customer: “Oh, I’ve already been to two places and they didn’t have the type of tank I need.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my manager really doesn’t like us to do it, since it’s so cold and dark out.”

Elderly Customer: “I wouldn’t even mind doing it myself.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but the cage is locked up.”

Elderly Customer: “Oh, right. I really do need to get one though…”

Me: “I’m sorry. Even if I attempt to ask my manager he screams to me over the radio, ‘NO!'” *nervous laughter, as I feel really bad about turning her away*

(During this I’m changing over a register and thinking to myself that maybe I should send her to my manager to see if she can talk him into it. When I turn around though, she’s gone. I continue with my duties for another 10 or 15 minutes.)

Manager: *on radio* “[My Name], you’re in trouble!”

Me: “Why, what’d I do?”

Manager: *slightly more mocking* “You know what you did!”

(I guess the customer HAD gone to him and asked him about getting propane. Both he and the supporting manager thought I had sent her to them. They complained for the next couple of hours about going out in the cold, all the while with me attempting to convince them I didn’t send her to them. I’m not sure if they ever eventually believed me.)

(I work overnights at a gas station. Due to a loophole in the laws of my state, the company I work for is able to shirk giving us 30-minute breaks by instead paying a yearly fine. After months of not being guaranteed a break, I decided to buy a pack of cigarettes to go on fake smoke breaks. I tucked them in my bag for later.)

Coworker #1: *barges into the kitchen* “Since when do you smoke?”

Me: “What?”

Coworker #2: *turning to me* “You smoke?!”

Coworker #1: “I saw cigarettes in her bag.”

Me: “You were SNOOPING in my bag?”

Coworker #1: “Your bag was open and I happened to glance inside. But seriously, when did you start smoking?”

Coworker #2: “Oh, my god, you better not have started smoking!”

Me: “Woah, woah. You two are hypocrites!”

(Both of them actually smoke cigarettes, one since the eighth grade.)

Coworker #2: “Just because we smoke doesn’t mean we want you to!”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, we make bad choices!”

Me: *starting to laugh* “Oh, my god. Guys, I bought them for the breaks.”

Coworker #1: “What?”

Me: “I bought them so I could go on smoke breaks. Not to actually smoke them.”

Coworker #2: “Oh, my god.”

Coworker #1: “You genius. I hate you.”

(I haven’t let them live it down, but every now and then they both ask to see the pack of cigarettes to make sure I haven’t started smoking!)