Born Under Hire, Boss Should Be Fired

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Working | September 27, 2012

(I am shopping late at night in a 24-hour grocery store. My cashier is a young woman, in her early 20s who looks to be about 8 months pregnant. She is also looking increasingly pale throughout the transaction.)

Me: “Are you okay? You aren’t looking very good.”

Cashier: “Hmm? I’m sorry. I’m not feeling very well tonight, and I’m getting very dizzy at random.”

(Though I’m not a doctor or medically trained, these types of symptoms don’t strike me as mild, especially in the case of a pregnant woman.)

Me: “Would you like me to go get your manager for you? You look like you should be sitting down.”

Cashier: *grips the counter to steady herself* “Yes… please…”

(I go to find the manager, a woman of about 60, who comes to the register with me.)

Manager: *to the cashier* “What the h*** is going on here?”

Cashier: “It’s happening again, what I told you about earlier. I can barely stand, I feel like I’m going to pass out, and I can’t breathe too well.”

Manager: “Oh, for crying out loud! You’re just faking it so I’ll let you go home early to your idiot husband.”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? She really looks sick, and since she is pregnant don’t you think you should err on the side of caution and send her home, or even to the hospital?”

Manager: “Bulls**t!  I’ve had 6 kids myself, and this DOESN’T happen to pregnant women. I never got dizzy and light-headed when I was pregnant, and I see no reason why she would!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, she doesn’t look good. Call her an ambulance, or at least call her husband so he can come get her!”

Manager: “No! She’s just being lazy. Besides, it’s none of your business!”

(At this time, I see a city police officer enter the store. He’s presumably off his shift since he is still in full uniform, but grabs a cart. I rush over to him.)

Me: “Officer, I’m sorry to bother you, but the cashier over here looks like she is going to pass out. She is pregnant, and looks to be due at any time now. I notified her manager, who refuses to do anything about it. Can you please help her?”

(The police officer heads over to the cashier in question, and helps her to a bench near the Customer Service desk. I wait around as the officer calls in an emergency on his radio, getting an ambulance sent for the cashier. The manager is trying the whole time to tell first me, then the cop, then the EMTs when they arrive that the cashier is just being lazy. The cashier is taken off to the hospital. Weeks later, I return to the store and ask a different manager about the cashier.)

Another Manager: “She’s doing alright. She ended up delivering a healthy baby boy about twelve hours later. Are you the customer that helped her?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Another Manager: “Well, as thanks, I’d like to give you a $500 gift card to the store. I also have a personal letter from the cashier…”

(I won’t go into details about the letter, but suffice to say it was addressed to “The Man Who Helped Me”!)

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Not The Lyrics

| Working | September 26, 2012

Not Always Working Can Lead To Not Ever Working

| Canada | Working | September 26, 2012

(Every month at our theatre, we receive a few boxes of new ticket stock which weighs about 25 lbs a box. I currently have a cast on my left arm.)

Me: “Hey, can you help me move these to the shelf? It’s hard to lift them one handed.”

Coworker: “Mmmm… not right now.”

Me: “What? Why? It would take literally two minutes of your time.”

Coworker: “But I’m reading ‘Not Always Working’!”

Me: “Ah… I see?”

Coworker: “Just take your cast off and do it yourself.”

Me: “But I can’t just pull it off—”

Coworker: “This s*** is hilarious. I’m glad I don’t work with these jerks.”

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Someone Please Shatter The Triforce Of Chauvinism

| Provo, UT, USA | Working | September 26, 2012

(For my brother’s birthday, my parents have set up a treasure hunt all over the city. I am going with him. We’ve stopped in various businesses when the employees are excited to be included, giving us the clue and/or present my parents left and wishing my brother a happy birthday. Keep in mind my brother has a unisex name, while I am female.)

My Brother: “Oh, wow! I get to go to !”

Me: “Yeah, I wonder what the next clue is…”

My Brother: “Oh, crap! I have to go to the bathroom! You get the clue!”

(My brother runs off while I walk into the store and talk to the cashier.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any notes for [brother’s name]?”

Male Cashier: “UGH, they left this for a GIRL?”

(The cashier holds up Skyward Sword, a very popular Zelda video game that my brother and I want.)

Me: “Despite the fact I really want that game, it’s for—”

Male Cashier: “I bet you only want it because your boyfriend plays it and you want to impress him! Do you even have a Wii?”

Me: “I am single, and of course, I have a Wii, PS2, Gamecube, and a 3DS. Can I have the game now?”

Male Cashier: “See?! You’re lying! There is no such thing as a Gamecube!”

Me: “Yes, there is. It just is outdated. Can I PLEASE have the game?”

(At this point, my brother comes running into the store.)

My Brother: “Oh, hey Sis! Did you get my game?”

(Seeing him, the cashier instantly hands the game to my brother.)

Male Cashier: “You’re lucky, sir! She almost stole your game!”

My Brother: *laughs* “Yeah, we both wanted this game for a while.”

Male Cashier: “LIES!  She thinks that a ‘Gamecube’ existed!”

My Brother: “It did. We have one.”

Male Cashier: “You’re lying! GAMECUBE NEVER EXISTED!”

(We ran as soon as we could out of there!)

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In Other News, Earnings Are Also In The Toilet

| Oregon, USA | Working | September 26, 2012

(I’m at a mandatory training session for experienced employees. Note that everyone at the training has done this job for years and we know each other pretty well. We’re using toilet paper for an icebreaker exercise.)

Manager #1: *tosses all his toilet paper at Manager #2*

Manager #2: “Ugh, [Manager #1]! You’re cleaning that up.”

Manager #1: “Whatever.”

(Our boss turns on a video and everyone turns to watch it. One employee who’s sitting behind Manager #1 starts putting pieces of toilet paper in his hair. He finally notices and grabs it off his head and shoves it in his mouth.)

Manager #2: “Did you just eat that?”

Manager #1: *spitting it out* “It’s dry!”

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