Comic Sans?

| Working | July 6, 2012

Slicing Through The Sexism

| Bellingham, WA, USA | Working | July 5, 2012

(I’m at a swap meet looking for a number of items, including a knife for camping and self-defense purposes. I am picking up knifes, unsheathing them and examining the blades very carefully. A vendor selling knives is surprised at my interest.)

Vendor: *to another customer* “Well, would ya look at that! There’s a girl looking at knives! I haven’t seen a woman looking at knives that seriously. I was gonna say all day, but really, ever!” *to me* “Can I ask who you’re looking for?”

Me: “Oh, for me. I do a lot of camping. Plus, you never know when you’re going to need one.”

Vendor: “Well, I never! Do you know how to use one of those, hun?”

Me: “It’s a knife. It’s not rocket science.”

Vendor: *smug smile* “Would you like me to show you?”

Me: “How to use a knife? I think I’ve got it down, thanks.”

Vendor: “Whatever you say…”

(I walk away at this point to look elsewhere, but his booth has the most satisfactory knives I’ve seen there. I end up going back and purchasing one, and immediately use it to cut open the packaging on some of my other purchases so he knows I know how to use it.)

Me: “Like I said, not rocket science!”

Not Very Street Smart

| USA | Working | July 5, 2012

Bill Collector: “…and so you owe [amount]. I need your bank information.”

Me: “Sorry, but I told you I don’t have the money to pay that right now.”

Bill Collector: “You know, I’m a little tired of you people saying you never have money! I can go out onto the street right now and make enough to pay this off In a day!”

Me: “Sir, are you suggesting I turn into a prostitute!?”

Bill Collector: “If it gets me my money!” *hangs up*

Back Off If You Want Your Backups

| Dallas, Texas, USA | Working | July 5, 2012

(It’s the late 1990s, and I’m the lone IT guy for a small company. I support two branch offices with about six employees each. In addition to the standard IT duties, I also do nightly, weekly, and quarterly backups on tape. Because we are so small and can’t afford to pay for off-site data storage/disaster recovery, I also keep duplicates of the backup tapes off-site in a fire safe at my home. This happens one day after I’d been working there about two years.)

Boss: “We’re letting you go. We’ve decided that you know too much about how our computer systems work. If you ever got mad at us, you could crash our whole network. Also, I need you to go home and bring back the tape backups that you keep off-site.”

Me: *stunned* “Um. Okay.”

(I drive home, get the backup tapes, bring them back, and hand them to my boss.)

Me: “You know, anyone who knows enough to keep the computers running is also going to know enough to bring them down. And, if I were really the vindictive type who would crash the network if I got mad at you, I never would have returned these backup tapes.”

Boss: “Hmmm…you’re right. Go sit in your office. Let me think for a bit.”

(I go sit in my office. About 30 minutes later, he comes back.)

Boss: “Okay, never mind. You’re not fired. But you are on probation for six months!”

(I got a new job as quickly as possible!)

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How To NOT Describe A Customer

| Working | July 5, 2012

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