The Dressers Of Two Evils

| Guilderland, New York, USA | Working | February 14, 2013

(During football season, our grocery store allows its associates to wear football jerseys and other football attire on the weekends. I am wearing an Atlanta Falcons Jersey with the Number 7 and Vick’s name on the back. At this time, Michael Vick had just admitted to dog fights, which was a huge scandal in the NFL. Ironically, the jersey I’m wearing has tears and holes in it because a few months prior, my dog got a hold of it and chewed on it while it was hanging out to dry.)

Manager: “Hey! You got a lot of nerve wearing THAT jersey here!”

Me: “Yeah, I know…. but my dog got a hold of it and chewed some holes in it. That has to count for something, right?”

Manager: *laughs* “Yeah, we’ll I don’t have much room to talk. My team is the Patriots and they were caught cheating last week.”

It Took A Fever To Make Him A Believer

| NC, USA | Working | February 13, 2013

(In the after-school program where I used to work, we would hold mini camps with field trips and such during school holidays. One of my former coworkers who was amazing in his job has recently become one of my bosses, but this has had an adverse effect on his reactions. This happens during spring break on a field trip when I see one of my kids lying on a bench.)

Me: “[Child], what’s wrong?”

Child: “I’m tired.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Child: “I don’t feel well. I’m tired.”

Me: *to my boss* “Something is wrong with [child]. He won’t eat his lunch.”

Boss: “He’s just mad because we had to get off the playground to eat lunch.”

Me: “Uh, no. Something is wrong. This is not [child].”

Boss: “He’s fine; he’s just upset.”

Me: “I work with [child]. This is NOT like him. I’ve NEVER seen him act like this.”

Boss: “Nothing’s wrong with him. He’s just throwing a temper tantrum.”

(I finally cave and figure my boss has been doing this much longer than I have and knows better than I.)

Me: *to the child* “Come on, dude. You need to stop acting like this and eat.”

Child: “I don’t feel well.”

(We board the bus to head back. Just as we’ve return to our main location…)

Me: “[Child], come on! We’ve got to get inside.”

Bus Driver: “Something’s wrong with him. He’s sick.”

Me: “That’s what I told [boss], but he said he was just pitching a fit.”

Bus Driver: “I felt his forehead when we got back on the bus. It was burning.”

(I realize the error of my ways in not trusting my judgement.)

Me: “I’ve got to get inside with them. I’ll send someone to come get him.

(As I run to catch up with the group, I see a coworker, Coworker #1, on the sidewalk.)

Me: *to Coworker #1* “[Child] is on the bus. He’s not feeling well. Can you try to get him off?”

(I arrive in the building and see another coworker, Coworker #2, who I know is the child’s favorite counselor and happens to be the boss’ brother.)

Me: *to Coworker #2* “Dude! [Child] is on the bus. Something is wrong with him. I just sent [Coworker #1], but he likes you. Can you go try to get him?”

(Coworker #2 runs to the bus and returns moments later, carrying the child. By now, my boss has joined us in the building.)

Coworker #2: “SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HIM!”

(Coworker #1 and my boss get a thermometer and take his temperature. He has a high fever. My boss goes to call the child’s mother and I hang around, even though my shift is over just to help keep an eye on him. Then, after everything is taken care of…)

Me: *to my boss* “I told you something was wrong.”

Boss: “Well, how was I supposed to know? I thought he was just throwing a fit.”

Me: “I work with him everyday. I have never seen him get like that, even when he’s mad. He is one of our most active children and so it’s not like him to just lie down and not even play.”

Boss: “Well—”

Me: “You’ve lost touch with your roots. That desk job has changed you. You, of all people, should know that we know our kids.”

(I later found out that Coworker #2 had the same conversation with him at home that night, and my boss admitted he was wrong. After that, with a little more prodding from Coworker #2 and I, my boss finally started giving us benefit of the doubt.)

Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 2

, | USA | Working | February 13, 2013

Me: “Can I get a hamburger combo and—”

Employee: “We don’t have a hamburger combo.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “We don’t have hamburger combos.”

Me: “Then… can I have a cheeseburger combo… without cheese?”

Employee: “Of course!” *happily inputs order*

Me: “…”

 

Hopefully, They Get Reception In Heaven

| Santiago, Chile | Working | February 13, 2013

(My grandfather has recently passed away, so my father sends me to cancel his satellite TV contract.)

Me: “I’m here to cancel this contract. It was my grandfather’s and he passed away.”

Employee: “Don’t you want to keep it?”

Me: “No, he passed away and his home is for sale.”

(I hand him the death certificate.)

Employee: “I can offer you a 50% discount for the next six months if you keep the contract.”

Me: “What part of my grandfather being dead did you not understand?”

Roll Forward

| Working | February 13, 2013

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