It Doesn’t Pay To Be Honest

| Colorado, USA | Working | January 15, 2013

(I am buying two boxes of hair dye. I have a coupon stating ‘Buy 1 Get 1 Free’ up to a $13.99 value. The cashier rings them both up, then takes off $13.99 even though the hair dye was on sale at $11.50.)

Me: “I don’t think that’s right. The hair dye is only $11.50.”

Cashier: “The coupon is Buy 1 Get 1 FREE. Not Buy 1 Get 1 Half Off.”

Me: “I know that. The hair dye is only $11.50, so I shouldn’t get the whole $13.99 off.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you. This is how coupons work. You get money off the price. If you don’t want money off the price, don’t use a coupon.”

Me: “You’re just giving me an extra $2.50.”

Cashier: “Learn to read the coupons and stop trying to get things for free!”

An Issue With The Male-To-Female Connection

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Working | January 15, 2013

Me: “Hi, I just bought a new desktop from you guys and I think it has a faulty connection.”

Employee: *condescendingly* “Uh huh, I see. And what exactly is your trouble, miss?”

Me: “When I put a disc into the optical drive, it didn’t respond. I checked and the OS is denying the computer even has an optical drive, but the light on the front is on. So, I figure the connection to the motherboard must be loose. Can I get you guys to patch that up for me?”

Employee: “Sure, we’ll get rid of that virus for you in no time.”

Me: “Um… did you hear me? I said it’s a hardware problem. I’d fix it myself if it wouldn’t void the warranty to open the case.”

Employee: “No, no, sweetheart. It’s almost definitely a virus. It’s really rare for it to be anything else. We’ll have to run what’s called a scan, so you’d need to join the queue. It’ll be a couple of days for that.”

Me: “You don’t need to scan it! You just need to open the case and reconnect the bloody wires!”

(We go back and forth, but I eventually surrender the machine, insisting before I leave that “check the hardware first” be written on the work order. Three days later, I finally get the call to come in and pick it up. This time the clerk is a different one and the work order is nowhere in sight.)

Me: “So what was the issue?”

Other Employee: “Well, Fred scanned it about five times but it kept coming up clean, so when he left yesterday I popped it open myself to check the hardware. Funny thing: the drive wasn’t even connected to the motherboard!”

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Disastrous Tech Support

| Working | January 15, 2013

The 2012 Not Always Working Story of the Year

Not Always Working | Working | January 14, 2013

Attention, Not Always Working readers! The results for the 2012 Story of the Year are in!

Was it Consider Yourself Ameliorated, Affirmative Action: Affirmed, The Only Thing He Should Be Running Is Scared?

Click the “more…” link to find out which story won: (more…)

Why Patients Run Out Of Patience

| Provo, UT, USA | Working | January 14, 2013

(I have been sick for 5 days after power went out at 1 a.m. and took the heat with it on a -2 degree Fahrenheit night. Wednesday, I had a death-rattle breathing and productive cough. Thursday, I got frostnip. Friday, I was running a fever. Saturday and Sunday, I got mild food poisoning. Monday, I’m finally able to get a doctor’s appointment. However, I am ready to snap because I’ve been awake 26 hours by this point and sleep in half-hour increments because I stop breathing while I’m asleep. So, I go to fill out the paperwork.)

Receptionist:  “Here you go, [my name]. Just make sure to fill out the top two sheets and give them to the nurse. It’s standard for OB.”

Me: “I’m not here for an OB appointment.”

Receptionist: “Uh-huh. Just fill that out.”

(I obediently look over the paperwork where I need to talk about the baby daddy’s medical history and other information unrelated to me. I go back.)

Me: “I’m not an OB patient.”

Receptionist: “You have to fill out the paperwork for your appointment. Here’s a new copy if you couldn’t work out the first one. Go do that! We’ll be with you some time soon.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I go back with the new paperwork. Again, I’m staring at whether the father of the baby has ever had hepatitis. I go back.)

Me: “I’m. Not. An. OB patient.”

Receptionist: “You have to fill out the paperwork for—”

Me: “I’m not married. I’m not sexually active. I swear by all that’s holy I’m NOT PREGNANT.”

Receptionist: “Uh-huh. And your name is Kathleen [last name]?”

Me: “No, it’s Kathryn [last name].”

(The receptionist stares at her computer for a few moments.)

Receptionist: “…Oh, with the COUGH.”

Me: “Yeah. I can’t breathe. Can you PLEASE give me paperwork for someone who IS NOT PREGNANT?”

Receptionist: “Yeah… well, it’s like you have the same name.”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

(My friend, who has come in with me and is in the waiting room 5 feet away from the desk, speaks up.)

My Friend: “”

Me: “Yeah.”

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