That’s What He Gets For Being A Pig

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Working | December 12, 2012

(I am having my lunch in the break room. One of my coworkers is also taking his break. Note: he has a penchant for stealing a few bites from my lunch.)

Coworker: “Yoink!”

(As usual, he grabs a piece of food from my container.)

Me: “No! Don’t eat that!”

Coworker: “Calm down, buddy! You don’t need to get so mad about it!”

Me: “No! I’m not mad! Just put that down, RIGHT NOW!”

Coworker: “Whoa, what’s with the stick up your a**? You never had a problem with this before!” *puts food in his mouth anyway*

(He’s right: normally, I don’t have a problem with him taking a little bit of food, but this time, he really needed to stop. I’m having ‘tonkatsu’ for lunch, which is a Japanese dish that contains pork. My coworker is Jewish.)

Me: “D*** it, dude! You’re eating pork!”

Coworker: “AAAAAH!”

(My coworker spits the pork into a nearby trash can, runs over to the sink, and starts rinsing his mouth out. Since that incident, he has never stolen from my lunch again.)

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Extra Light On The Common Sense

, | Florida, USA | Working | December 12, 2012

(A local pizza parlor is having a $5 special for medium pizzas.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a medium cheese pizza with light sauce.”

Cashier: “That will be $6.”

Me: “The special says medium pizzas are $5, not $6.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but toppings are $1 extra.”

Me: “I didn’t order any toppings.”

Cashier: “Yes, you did. You ordered light sauce.”

Me: “So, you want to charge me more for putting less sauce on my pizza?”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

(I ended up just getting it with regular sauce as to not cause a fuss.)

So (Well) Done With This Restaurant

| Davie, FL, USA | Working | December 12, 2012

Me: “I’d like 10 wings, medium garlic.”

Waitress: “Okay. How would you like that?”

Me: “Medium garlic, please.”

Waitress: “But how would you like that cooked?”

Me: “Breaded and fried?”

Waitress: “I mean, like medium rare, medium, well done?”

Me: “For my chicken wings?! Um, I’d like my chicken cooked all the way, please!”

Waitress: “Okay, well done then!”

May The Food Be With You

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Working | December 12, 2012

Cashier: *waves his hand* “You want cheese sauce on your soft pretzels.”

Me: “Your Jedi mind tricks will not fool me. These are the droids I’m looking for.”

Cashier: “Ah, your mind is strong…” *pauses* “I hate normal conversations.”

Me: “I agree.”

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Works Well With Others

| Working | December 12, 2012

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