Not Ever Working, Part 10

| Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Working | December 6, 2012

(My station decides to take on a work experience student from the local high school, and I am put in charge of him. One of the tasks I give him is to go through all the posters and flyers we’re given for upcoming events, and type them up into a comprehensive community calendar for the announcers. I give him an old copy of the community calendar to use as a style guide. Not more than two minutes after I gives him this job, he comes to me in a huff, and drops the old copy of the community calendar on my desk.)

Student: “I don’t need to do this. It’s already done.”

Me: “No, it’s not. That’s an old version. You need to take off the old events and add the new ones.”

Student: “I said I don’t need to do this. It’s obviously already done.”

Me: “Okay then. If it’s done, email it to all the announcers.”

Student: “I can’t do that. I don’t have a copy on the computer.”

Me: “How do you think you’ll get a copy on the computer?”

Student: “Uhh… type it up?”

Me: “There you go. Now, go type it up, take the old events off the calendar, and add the new ones while you type.”

(The student sighs and walks away. Rather than go back to his computer, he goes into my boss’s office and closes the door. After a few minutes, the boss comes storming out of her office and over to me.)

Boss: “How DARE you put him to work doing such a menial task! We didn’t hire that student to type things up! We hired him so he could do fun stuff! Only put him to work doing fun stuff!”

(The boss and the student’s idea of ‘fun stuff’ was to put him in charge of the station’s Facebook page. He did nothing but play FarmVille until he flunked out of the work experience program.)

 

Negative Tip

| Working | December 5, 2012

Best To Couch Your Criticism

| USA | Working | December 5, 2012

(I’m moving into a new apartment building, and one of my neighbors is helping me move a heavy couch up the stairs. While we are moving the couch, the building maintenance man gets in our way and will not move. Note: I am a male in pretty okay shape, and my neighbors is female and also in good shape.)

Maintenance Guy: *to my female neighbor* “Hey, fata**! I need a word with you.”

Me: “Could you move, please, [name]? Just so we can get up to the landing and put the couch down.”

Maintenance Guy: “Just hold onto it. Worthless fata**es like you could stand to burn the extra calories that holding something heavy takes.”

Me: “Hey, buddy back off, man. She’s not fat.”

My Neighbor: *to me* “Oh, don’t bother… he’s not worth listening to… about anything.”

Maintenance Guy: *to my neighbor* “SHUT UP! I SAID I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!”

My Neighbor: “Fine, talk then.”

Maintenance Guy: “You turned in a request to have a light fixture fixed.”

My Neighbor: “Yes, I did. My roommate and I need the light in that room.”

Maintenance Guy: “Well, I can’t fix it until you get rid of your cat.”

My Neighbor: *frowning* “Excuse me?”

Maintenance Guy: “I’m mildly allergic to cats. So you have to get rid of that stupid beast.”

My Neighbor: “I’ll just fix if myself if you can’t take allergy meds like a normal person.”

Maintenance Guy: “Women can’t do electrician stuff!”

Me: “That’s not true. My girlfriend’s an electrician.”

Maintenance Guy: “No, she isn’t! Women can’t be real electricians! It’s not possible.”

(My neighbor sets the couch legs down on a step so it remains even, and turns it around to face him.)

My Neighbor: “How’s about you take your worthless ideas and get out of here, hmm?”

Maintenance Guy: “What’re you gonna do about it, b****?” *takes a swing at her*

(Long story short, she kicked his a** without knocking me and the couch down the stairs. The maintenance man ended up getting fired for feeling up another female tenant and last I heard he’d been arrested.)

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Oh-Sew Pushy

| Dallas, TX, USA | Working | December 5, 2012

(I enjoy sewing as a hobby, and I’ve decided it might be time to replace my default machine with a newer model. I also collect vintage machines and tear them down and fix them, in addition to being a network engineer and systems admin for my paycheck.)

Clerk: “So, what do you want?”

Me: “Well, I wanted to see what mechanical machines you had and try them out. I really only use 4-5 stitches but I need something a little heavier duty than I am using right now.”

Clerk: “Let me show you our top of the line computerized machine.”

Me: “Um, no. I don’t want a computerized machine. I want a mechanical one.”

Clerk: “Oh, trust me, once you sew on this you’ll fall in love with it!”

Me: “Uh, no I won’t. I want a mechanical machine, I do not want a computerized one.”

Clerk: “You really need to get over your fear of technology!”

(This went on for about 30 minutes before she wandered off when it became evident I wouldn’t buy a $6,000+ dollar sewing machine. I ended up emailing the owner of the shop because of how poorly I was treated and it turns out this was a habit of hers. She was fired; I was offered a gift and the owner’s attention picking out a machine.)

Brain Is Currently Offline

| Missouri, USA | Working | December 5, 2012

(I am having connectivity issues. I work in tech support myself for a different company, so I am already aware of all the troubleshooting steps prior to the call.)

Agent: “Thank you for calling [company’s name]. How may I assist you?”

Me: “Yes, I was calling because the modem is offline and I wanted to see if it’s an outage, a modem issue or signal issue.”

Agent: “Okay, so you can’t connect to the Internet?”

Me: “No, I can’t because the modem is offline. I wanted to see if there is a network issue since it’s offline.”

Agent: “Do you have a router?”

Me: “Yes, but that doesn’t—”

Agent: “Okay, I will need you to remove the router and plug the modem directly to the computer.”

Me: “That won’t work. The modem is offline. I would like to find out why it’s offline.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, but in order to help you get online, you’ll have to remove the router and plug it in.”

Me: “No, I don’t. The modem only has the power and a blink receive light. It’s unable to get the receive signal from the network which means it’s a signal issue, modem issue or outage. Did you even check my modem in the system?”

Agent: *silence*

Me: “So, can you tell me why my modem is offline?”

Agent: *pauses for a moment*

Me: “…Hello?”

Agent: “Have you removed the router yet?”

Me: “Check my modem or get me a supervisor.”

Agent: *huffs* “Hold on…”

(The agent reluctantly puts me on hold to check. The kicker? When she returned five minutes later, she confirmed it was a network outage after all.)

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