Your Service Is Crazy, So Call Me Maybe

| Newport, England, UK | Working | August 1, 2012

(Note: I’ve ordered some glasses on a 2-for-1 offer.)

Optician: “We’ll have them ready for you in a couple of weeks. We’ll give you a call to come in when they are ready.”

Me: “I can just pop by in a couple of weeks.”

Optician: “No, we’ll call you when they’re ready.”

(Two weeks pass without a call from the optician, so I decide to pop in anyway.)

Me: “Are my glasses ready yet?”

Optician: “No. We said we’d call you when they’re in.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Optician: *sighs* “Let me check…”

(They pop off to the back before returning.)

Optician: “Okay, one pair is in, but the other pair got damaged when they were making it. We don’t know when it will come in. We will call you when it comes in.”

Me: “I can just pop in in a few weeks.”

Optician: “No. We will call you when it’s in. Don’t come in till then!”

(Three weeks go by, and again there is no phone call. So, I decide to go in anyway.)

Me: “Hi, have my glasses come in?”

Optician: “We said we’d call you when they are in!”

Me: “Can you check anyway?”

Optician: *checks* “Oh… wait. Yes, here they are!”

Wedded Bliss Meets Wednesday’s Boss

| Amsterdam, NY, USA | Working | August 1, 2012

(I normally work on Wednesdays. However, I have requested next Wednesday off, because it is my parents’ anniversary, and I’m taking them out to eat. All requests for time off must be made before the schedule for the week is completed, and I’ve notified the schedule manager well in advance. Yet, when next week’s schedule is posted, I see that I’ve still been scheduled to work on Wednesday.)

Me: “Hey, [manager], I’m scheduled to work on Wednesday, but I asked for that day off.”

Manager: “Did you ask before the schedule was made?”

Me: “Yes, I asked you on Monday last week.”

Manager: “Oh yeah, I forgot.”

Me: “Oh. Well, can you get someone to cover for me?”

Manager: “Why did you ask for a day off when you knew you had to work?”

Me: “I asked for the day off before the schedule was made up.”

Manager: “But you’re always scheduled for Wednesdays. So you, should know that you have to work on Wednesday.”

(It should be noted that this is my summer job, so I’ve only been working there for four weeks).

Me: “Well, my parents’ anniversary is this Wednesday, and I’ve already made plans. Can I please have it off?”

Manager: “Fine, I can do it this time, but next time, schedule your plans for a different day.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll… schedule my parents’ anniversary for a different day next time.”

Manager: “That’s more like it!”

August Themed Story Giveaway: Bigots At Work!

Not Always Working | Working | August 1, 2012
Want to win A Not Always Working t-shirt?
Enter August’s Themed Story Giveaway: Bigots At Work!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a story based on an experience with a bigoted boss, coworker, or employee you’ve encountered.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!

PS: Congratulations to “Melody” for winning July’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Crazy & Lazy Employees. The winning submission: When The Cat’s Away, The Mice Will Play Uno (624 thumbs up).

Fast Service, Even When Slow

| Working | July 31, 2012

More Buffoon Than Buff

| GA, USA | Working | July 31, 2012

(During the holidays we hire extra help. This happens on Black Friday with a guy who doesn’t work much because, as he puts it, he is “too hot and buff” to work hard. He doesn’t like to listen to me because I’m a female, even though I’m his manager. We’re in the back of the store.)

Me: “Hey, [coworker], since you left your post in the dressing room, you need to go help out with the registers.”

Coworker: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Coworker: “No! This is stupid. You’re just jealous because I’m so hot and I’m totally buff and you just don’t like that I’m working here!”

Me: “Actually, I don’t like that you’re working here because you’re useless and lazy. You have two options here, and only two: either go to the front and run the register, or I’ll clock you out and you can go home.”

Coworker: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “Yes, actually I can. What you can’t do is behave this way and think it’s acceptable. ”

Coworker: “You’re just being a b**** because I’m hot, and you’re ugly!”

Me: “You’re going home. I’m also going to be talking to the owners about your attitude and how useless you are around the building. So, go home… you’ll be more useful away from the store.”

Coworker: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “Again, yes I can.”

Coworker: “You people are just jealous that I’m the hottest person in here! This store is staffed with fug-os! Between you, fatty mclarda**, and that dude with the messed up face, you’re all ugly and jealous of my hotness!”

(Note the two coworkers he’s talking about have overheard and are upset. The girl he’s called fat is trying to lose weight, and the guy has terrible burn scars on his face from a fire he suffered as a child. They both are uncomfortable and upset. Thankfully, the store owner is in the store and comes over.)

Owner: *to my coworker* “You’re fired.”

Coworker: “Who the h*** do you think you are, old man? You can’t fire me!”

Owner: “I’m the owner, not only can I fire you, but I can ban you from ever stepping foot in this store again or I’ll have you arrested. You have disrespected my employees, you’ve bad -outhed the manager—who I would have fired you on her word alone—and you now have twenty seconds to get off my property.”

Coworker: “You people are just jealous! I’m HOT and I’m BUFF and I’m BETTER than you!”

(The owner looks to me, silently giving me permission to put him in his place.)

Me: *to my now-fired coworker* “Hey, just so you know, your butt looks really big in those pants, and your arms look super flabby when you flail around like that. I just thought that, maybe, for someone who claims to be so hot and buff, you’d want to know that!”

Coworker: *looks mortified and runs out of the store*

1 Thumbs
1,352
VOTES
Page 1,673/1,741First...1,6711,6721,6731,6741,675...Last
« Previous
Next »