(I’ve just started a new job and have had a several-hour-long meeting with my new coworkers. The coffee is percolating through me so I head straight for the bathroom. The CEO, who has a reputation for being eccentric, looks across to my urinal.)

Boss: “Ah… Are you Jewish, or did you go to public school?”

Me: *turning red* “Um… er… Just ‘done’ is all.”

Boss: “Well, at least you know you’ll never be a banker. They’re all complete pricks.”

(I wish I could say this was the limit of his behaviour, but it wasn’t.)

(A coworker and I are straightening the items on a shelf in the aisle we were sent to by our manager. A friend, who does not work with us, happens to be shopping and stops in our aisle for quick chat. Our manager walks by and sees the three of us.)

Manager: “Hey, I don’t need three people organizing the same aisle! SEPARATE!”

Me: “Uh, [Manager]? She doesn’t work here.”

Manager: “Oh…”

(He walked away without another word.)

(I’m working a reception desk when a coworker hands me an iPhone 7, soaking wet, and informs me he found it by the front door. I quickly dry it off and begin trying to work out who it may belong to whilst another colleague wanders the five floors of our building to see if anyone’s lost a phone. After an hour, I’m starting to worry the owner may have travelled to a different site, when I hear a commotion on the stairs.)

Colleague: “…it was outside, [My Name]’s looking after it.”

Woman: “Oh, God.”

(Suddenly, a woman I don’t know comes charging through the doors to my reception, looking ready to cry.)

Woman: “You have my phone?”

Me: *holding up the phone* “Yep, all dried off and ready to go home.”

Woman: “Oh, my God! Thank you so much!”

(I point out a few scratches to the protective screen, but she’s obviously just relieved to have her “baby” back.)

Me: “I’ve been there. At least you’ve got it back, now.”

Woman: “I love you!”

Me: *unsure how to react to strangers declaring their love, and mouth going into autopilot* “Love you, too?”

(The woman left with a huge smile on her face, practically hugging her phone. I was having a bad morning, but her random declaration and joy certainly cheered me up!)

(My girlfriend’s mobile phone switched itself off and won’t turn back on. So, she’s on the phone to her provider, talking to their tech support.)

Girlfriend: “My phone turned itself off and won’t turn back on again.”

Tech: “Have you tried turning the device off and back on again?”

Girlfriend: “If I could do that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

(I honestly couldn’t believe this happened, as it seemed too cliché. I understand these people have to ask you to try the simplest fix first, but what use is it asking you to turn your phone off and then on again if the issue is that your phone won’t turn on?)

(I am a cashier in a locally-owned, market-style grocery store. Typically, when people come in and are looking for someone, they come ask a cashier since we are easy to find. During April and May, we do a small round of hiring for summer staff. A guy comes in and tells one of the coworkers he’s here for an interview.)

Coworker: “Okay, do you know with who?”

Guy: “I don’t remember his name.”

Coworker: “Do you know what department?”

Guy: “Uh… I think food.”

Coworker: “Well, this is a grocery store.”

(My coworker took him to meet the manager that was hiring when someone told her he was the only one with interviews scheduled.)