From A Day Off To An Awful Day

| Green Bay, WI, USA | Working | August 2, 2012

(It’s my day off, and I’m shopping at the grocery store where I work. Note that I’m not in uniform and am dressed extremely casually; in fact, I’m wearing cat ears that I made myself. One of my coworkers notices me.)

Coworker: “Hey, [my name], you need to get on the registers! We’re backing up!”

Me: “I’m not on today.”

Coworker: “Don’t give me that! You are so! And what’s with the stupid things on your head?”

Me: “Like I said, I’m off today. See, I’m not even in uniform.”

Coworker: “You are so lazy! Get to your register now!”

Me: “I’m not—”

(My coworker pages the manager to come up and deal with me.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Coworker: “She’s not doing her job! And look! She’s not even in uniform!”

Manager: *to me* “What are you doing just standing around then! Get on your lane!”

Me: “As I’ve said, I’m not on the schedule today.”

Manager: “We’ll see about that!” *goes to the service desk and pulls out our schedule binder and looks at it* “See, here you are!”

Me: “On what day?”

Manager: “Tuesday, 3-11!”

Coworker: “Ha!”

Me: “And today is?”

Coworker: *smugly* “Monday.”

(A moment of silence passes between the two of them as they realize their error. Both turn bright red.)

Manager: *to me* “Uh… I’m sorry.”

Me: “And I quit!”

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Crude & Cruder

| PA, USA | Working | August 2, 2012

(I am buying supplies for my son’s birthday party. Included are ice cream, cake mix, Oreos, m&ms, chips, etc. There is a young 20-something male cashier at the register.)

Employee: *looks at my items and snickers* “Is this ALL you need today?”

Me: *taken aback* “Yes, thank you.”

Employee: “You forgot the pickles.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “P-I-C-K-L-E-S.”

Me: “I don’t like pickles.”

Employee: “God, you women are all the same. Junk food and pickles. You forgot your super absorbent tampons too, B****!”

Me: *speechless*

Employee: “You are just using it as an excuse to be fat and lazy so you don’t have to f*** your guy. You women are all the same. Stock up on all this s*** and pig out, yet if a guy eats one g**d*** Oreo it’s the end of the f***ing world cause you don’t want a fat man!”

Me: “Not that it’s your business, but these are for my son’s birthday party.”

Employee: “How old?”

Me: “Two, but it’s still not your—”

Employee: “Then it’s been two years since the last time you gave your man a good f***!”

(At this point I see a middle-aged man in an apron booking it to my register. He’s most likely the manager.)

Manager: *to employee* “Break, NOW.”

Employee: “Not yet—”

Manager: “Break or get the h*** out!”

Employee: “I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Manager: “I’ve seen and heard everything.”

Employee: “I’m just trying to help her sex life with her man.”

Manager: “You are fired. Get out!”

Employee: “B****es on a rag who won’t f*** their men!” *storms out*

Manager: “Sorry.”

Me: “Uh, that was weird.”

Manager: “He can’t even do math.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “If your son is two, it would have been two years nine months…not two years. Have a nice day!”

Me: *speechless*

(I made sure to find a new store.)

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Just Because We’re Open 24 Hours…

| Working | August 1, 2012

Some Employees Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2

| Maine, USA | Working | August 1, 2012

(A friend and I go to the beach and decided to buy BFF belly button rings. Instead of buying them separately, we decide to split the bill to get them a few dollars cheaper.)

Employee: “They are two for $22.”

Me: “Can we split the bill? She’s paying cash, and I have a debit card.”

Employee: “Yes, of course.” *to herself* “They’re two for $22, then with tax is $24… split in half…” *to us* “It’s gonna be $17 each after tax.”

(Without thinking, my friend hands her a twenty dollar bill and receives $3 cash back. I then hand her my card, sign the receipt and then leave.)

Me: “Wait.. how is it $17 each?”

(Realizing we were just each ripped off $5, we go back into the store.)

Friend: “You said they were two for $22, right?”

Employee: “Yes, and then $24 after tax.”

Friend: “Isn’t half of 24… 12?”

Employee: “No, it’s 17.”

Friend: “I’m pretty sure it’s 12, though?”

Employee: “Look, I don’t have a calculator because my phone is off but I can assure you it’s 17.”

Me: “No, 17 plus 17 is 34.”

Employee: “No. 17 plus 17 is 24.”

Friend: “How?”

Employee: “Seven plus seven is fourteen. 10 plus 10 is 20. Fourteen plus 20 is…. oh, gosh!”


Your Service Is Crazy, So Call Me Maybe

| Newport, England, UK | Working | August 1, 2012

(Note: I’ve ordered some glasses on a 2-for-1 offer.)

Optician: “We’ll have them ready for you in a couple of weeks. We’ll give you a call to come in when they are ready.”

Me: “I can just pop by in a couple of weeks.”

Optician: “No, we’ll call you when they’re ready.”

(Two weeks pass without a call from the optician, so I decide to pop in anyway.)

Me: “Are my glasses ready yet?”

Optician: “No. We said we’d call you when they’re in.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Optician: *sighs* “Let me check…”

(They pop off to the back before returning.)

Optician: “Okay, one pair is in, but the other pair got damaged when they were making it. We don’t know when it will come in. We will call you when it comes in.”

Me: “I can just pop in in a few weeks.”

Optician: “No. We will call you when it’s in. Don’t come in till then!”

(Three weeks go by, and again there is no phone call. So, I decide to go in anyway.)

Me: “Hi, have my glasses come in?”

Optician: “We said we’d call you when they are in!”

Me: “Can you check anyway?”

Optician: *checks* “Oh… wait. Yes, here they are!”

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