Taking The Urgency Out Of Emergency

| Jerusalem, Israel | Working | March 12, 2013

(I have just noticed that a fire has broken out in the woods across from my house, and call 102, the Israeli fire emergency number.)

Automated Message: “Thank you for calling the fire department. If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it at any time.”

Me: “Okay…”

Automated Message: “For emergencies, press 1.”

(I press 1. The phone rings for a short time, and then…)

Automated Message: “The extension you dialed is not available. Please hang up and try again later.” *click*

(I end up calling the police instead.)

Equality Is A Two-Chromosomed Street

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Working | March 12, 2013

Me: “Hey [coworker], I heard you interviewed [my friend].”

Coworker: “Yeah. Sorry, I couldn’t hire him, considering he’s your friend and all.”

Me: “That’s okay. I don’t expect you to hire someone just because he’s my friend. But he said that you told him that the reason he wasn’t hired was that you were looking for female baristas.”

Coworker: *smiles* “Yeah. You know, girls just are harder workers, more detail oriented. And we need that around here. Us guys… we’re not so good at that. We’re pretty crappy, actually.”

Me: “Um, and you told [my friend] that?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Um, you do realize that that is sexual discrimination, right?”

Coworker: “…What? How?!”

Me: “It’s illegal to not hire someone based on their gender. Because [my friend] knows you didn’t give him a shot at the job because he’s a guy, he technically could sue you. [My friend] isn’t going to do that for a job in a coffee shop, but he wanted me to warn you to not say that to people so you or [the owner] don’t get in trouble for sexual discrimination.”

Coworker: “It’s really sexual discrimination? It’s not against women; it’s for women!”

Me: “Dude, sexual discrimination laws go both ways.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: *facepalm*

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The Worker Beneath My Wings

| Paris, France | Working | March 11, 2013

(A newly-hired operator is on her first call and is nervous to the point of stuttering. I’m there to watch and help her if she gets stuck.)

New Girl: “[Health care company], th-this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling to check if you guys gave me the payment for a trip to the hospital I recently had. Your website seems to be down and I only got out of the hospital yesterday, so I can’t check that.”

New Girl: “Of-of course, sir! Can I have your name, please?”

Caller: *gives his name*

(The new girl starts to type, but is visibly stressed and misspells his name several times. Each time, it gives her an error and requires her to ask the caller his name again. After a few tries, she starts to lose control.)

New Girl: “I-I-I’m sorry sir, I can’t find you in the system. M-Maybe you did a wrong num—”

Caller: “First day, huh?”

New Girl: “Y-yes!”

Caller: “Okay, so in the case you don’t find someone with their full name or if the software shoves an error in your face, you ask for the last name and THEN the birthdate. And if that fails too, you ask for the social security number. How about we try that? I’m born on [date].”

New Girl: “Y-yes!”

Caller: “Okay. Now, when you opened the dossier, you go in the…”

(I sit slack-jawed during the whole call as the caller not only does not raise his voice during the whole call, but also guides perfectly the girl through the software, explaining her various tips and policies at the same time. At the end of the call, I can’t stand it anymore and take the call.)

Me: “Sir, forgive my rudeness, but HOW on Earth do you know our tools and policies so well?!”

Caller: “Check my dossier; you’ll see.”

(When I take a better look at his dossier, I stand flabbergasted for a few seconds since this particular caller appears to work in our company, in another call center, for FAR longer than me.)

Me: “Well, that explains everything.”

Caller: “Indeed it does. You take care now, guys! And good luck, [New Girl]! Tell you what: as soon as I go back to work, I’ll send you a few tricks by mail, okay? See ya!”

(He then hangs up. The kicker? A few days later, he indeed sent the new girl an e-mail full of tips and tricks to help her start!)

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He Who Hinted It Reprinted It

| Milton, GA, USA | Working | March 11, 2013

(I work for a fruit arrangements shop. My boss has just called me to make sure that an order has come through. He can be a bit condescending and hates to he wrong.)

Manager: “Did you get the two orders?”

Me: “Yes, although one of them was printed twice. It’s the exact same order, so I’ll just throw a copy out.”

Manager: “Why did you print out an extra? Why are you wasting paper?”

Me: “I didn’t print anything—”

Manager: “You know, I need efficient employees that do things right the first time, and you aren’t doing your job.”

(As he says this, I look up the order and discover who printed the duplicate.)

Me: “It says that you were the one that reprinted it.”

Manager: “…I have to go now. Bye.”

You Can’t Make This Advice Up

| Australia | Working | March 11, 2013

(I am buying some make-up for myself. I have oily skin and very mild acne, so my dermatologist has recommended using powder foundations. I’m a student working part-time so I can’t afford the high range stuff, but I still buy reliable branded products.)

Cashier: “Are you wearing this now?” *screws up her nose at my powder*

Me: “Um yeah, I always get that one.”

Cashier: “Well, you should get [famous brand] matte foundation instead. We’ve got it for like $80. I bought some myself.”

Me: “Oh thanks, but I can’t really afford it! I like this powder because I just want some light coverage for blemishes and it looks quite natural. And it’s on special for $38, which sounds good to me!”

Cashier: “Ugh, but you’re so pale, and I can see you’ve got some gross little pimples by your chin! This stuff is way better. See?”

(The cashier points at her own face. True, she doesn’t seem to have any acne showing, but she hasn’t blended it to her neck and consequently looks like she is wearing a mask. On top of this, she seems to have applied several layers of the stuff and a load of bronzer, so the makeup resembles orange cake mix, set off nicely with false eyelashes and bright blue eyeshadow.)

Me: “Oh, yeah it is quite nice… but I think I’ll stick with my powder.”

Cashier: “Whatever…” *rolls eyes* “You’ll find the cheap tanning sprays over in the corner!”

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