Go Truck Yourself

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | March 24, 2013

Me: “Hello, I’d like to reserve a 10′ truck for Thursday.”

Employee: “Oh, you want to reserve a truck? On the phone?”

Me: “Yes, sir, that would be great. What information do you need from me?”

Employee: *annoyed* “You know, you can just reserve a truck online.”

Me:  “Oh, okay. Since I have you on the phone, can we just take care of it right now?”

Employee:  “Uh, well, then I’d have to take down ALL of your information. I’m kinda busy, so…”

Me: “…So?”

Employee: “So, please visit our website and reserve the truck there. I don’t have time to help you.” *hangs up*

Shortest Job Ever

| Canada | Working | March 24, 2013

(I work in an elephant barn which requires lots of heavy lifting. We are warned of this during the interviewing process before we’re hired. Note: my coworker is only about five feet tall, as am I. This conversation occurs while we’re moving hay from the barn to an enclosure.)

Coworker: “These hay bales are too heavy. They shouldn’t be making short people like us lift these; it’s impossible!”

Me: “Well, it wouldn’t be fair if we got out of hard work because we’re short. Besides, I don’t really have trouble with these bales. Try lifting it with both arms and resting it against your hip as you walk; it’s a lot easier.”

Coworker: “No, it’s too hard cause we’re short.”

Me: “Well, I’m as short as you and I can manage. Like I said, if you stop trying to carry it away from your body and rest it against you, it’s a lot easier.”

Coworker: “No, it’s cause we’re short. This is too hard for us. Plus, we have to stretch to reach the backs of the elephants all the time. They should give us step stools.”

Me: “We were warned about this stuff. And they can’t supply us with step stool everywhere.”

Coworker: “We could carry them around with us on our backs!”

Me: “I’d rather stretch a bit than do that.”

Coworker: “Well, we’re so short. We shouldn’t have to do all this stuff. We’re just so short!”

(Needless to say, she didn’t last a week.)

Dying To Insure You

| CA, USA | Working | March 23, 2013

Caller: “Hi, this is John from [insurance company]. I would like inform you of our current insurance rate and advantages.”

Me: “That’s alright; I don’t need insurance at the moment, but thank you.”

Caller: “But, if you would just let me tell you about the benefits we provide and low rates we are offering today…”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Caller: “Well, I hope you don’t die!” *hangs up*

Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 3

| Ohio, USA | Working | March 23, 2013

(I am a 25-year-old male visiting a college town in Ohio. Whilst there, I decide to pick up some alcohol for myself and my girlfriend.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything okay today, sir?”

Me: “Yes I did.”

Cashier: “I’m going to have to see some ID for these purchases.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I hand over my UK passport.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, this isn’t acceptable ID.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “We only accept government-issued ID.”

Me: “It’s a valid passport issued by the government.”

Cashier: “Sorry, I can’t accept this. Do you have any other ID’s? Ohio State driver’s license?”

Me: “No, I’m on vacation here. I don’t have a state ID.”

Cashier: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you the alcohol without a government-issued ID.”

Me: “But it IS government-issued!”

Cashier: “Sorry, sir.”

Me: “Can you call a manager please?”

Cashier: “Certainly…”

(I wait about ten minutes for the manager to appear.)

Manager: “What seems to be the trouble here?”

Cashier: “He’s trying to buy alcohol without ID.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I DO have ID.”

(I show the manager my passport.)

Cashier: “But it’s not government-issued.”

Me: “It IS government-issued.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this as a valid form of ID.”

Me: “Wait, just so I’m clear on this; my passport, which allows me to travel freely across the world, issued by the UK government, won’t allow me to purchase alcohol in the state of Ohio?”

Manager: “Well… not in this store, anyway.”

Me: “You do realise this is a college town and a vast percentage of the students are foreign. Therefore, they don’t have Ohio driver’s licenses?”

Manager: “Yes, but you can’t buy alcohol with this document.”

Me: “Forget it! I’ll go to the liquor store up the road.”

(I ended up going to the liquor store up the road, where they served me without a problem.)


Not On The Cut & Pasting Edge

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Working | March 22, 2013

(I work in the office at a catering company. The owner often comes to me when she’s having trouble with something on her computer.)

Owner: “Hey, do you have a copy of our Mexican Fiesta menu on that computer? I wanted to email it to a customer.”

Me: “No, but I know that menu is on our website. If the file is not saved on your computer then, you can just send your customer the link to the proper page on our site.”

Owner: “But I need to email it to her.”

Me: “You can just put the link in the body of the email. It should take her right to the menu.”

Owner: “If you say so…”

(Five minutes later…)

Owner: “I don’t think this is going to work. See? If I put in our web address, it just goes right to our homepage, not the Mexican Fiesta menu. I don’t want her to have to go searching around our website.”

Me: “You need to get the link for the exact page the menu is on.”

Owner: “How do I do that?”

(I click through our website until I pull up the page with the Mexican Fiesta menu. Because it’s fairly deep in our website, the link itself is very long with a lot of random numbers.)

Me: “There you go. Just use this link.”

Owner: “That link is so long! It’s going to take me ten minutes to type it out! Are you sure you don’t have the menu saved on your computer?

Me: “It’s probably easier this way because the customer doesn’t have to open any attachments, and you don’t have to type it out. Just copy and paste the link into the email.”

Owner: “Copy and paste? How do I do that?”

(I’m a little flabbergasted but I carefully explain how to highlight the link and then copy and paste it. I go through the steps a couple of times for her, but I still end up having to put the link into the email myself.)

Owner: “Wow, I didn’t know you could do that!”

Me: “Wait, have you really never copy and pasted a link before? Have you never sent website links to anyone?”

Owner: “I do all the time! I just type the whole thing.”

Me: *facepalm*

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