(I work for a supermarket in the home delivery department. I have spent the last week and a half acting up into a role of team support. My job is to support drivers while they are on the road, and to communicate with the customer service team regarding the status of orders. Sometimes we have orders that are “stored,” which means that, for whatever reason, payment has been unsuccessful. At these times, we call the customer to try and sort the payment out. If the customer does not answer, we leave a voicemail and arrange for an email to be sent. In very rare circumstances, customers don’t get their shopping and call customer service to find out where it is. More often than not, this is after the delivery window, and the shopping is returned to stock. This leads to the following conversation with customer service.)

Employee: “Hi there. It’s [Employee] from customer service. I’m trying to track down a customer’s order.”

(After we establish who the customer is and I explain that the order was stored, this conversation happens without fail.)

Employee: “Is there any chance if the customer pays that we could get their shopping out to them?”

Me: “No, sorry. That’s not possible; the transaction has expired and we can’t access it anymore to take payment.”

Employee: “But what if we could get them to pay? Can we get the shopping out to them?”

Me: “No. There is no possible way for them to pay; they have to reorder. The transaction has been closed; we would have no way to take payment. The shopping has been returned to stock.”

Employee: “Well, we really need to make this customer happy, so can we not take payment?”

Me: “We have no means to process that. I can’t do the impossible.”

Employee: “Well, I’ll just have to phone your store manager to confirm this.”

Me: “Uh, okay. Fine.”

(Every time, the store manager comes in and checks that 1) the transaction has expired and 2) the shopping is returned to stock, and then tells customer service this. Customer service then explains that they promised to get this shopping to the customer that day and that we need to make it happen. The manager refuses and tells customer service not to promise things like that next time. This happens far more than it should.)

(We’ve had several large meetings scheduled in the building’s biggest conference room for today. Unfortunately, the projector and the screens in said conference room have also both chosen today to break down, so we’ve been frantically trying to find other venues for everyone. After five hours of scouring calendars, booking new rooms, and redirecting people to the alternate locations, I’m feeling pretty burned out. At this point, one of the regular employees comes in pushing an animal carrier.)

Worker: “Afternoon, [My Name]… Wow. You’re not looking well.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s been… a trying day. I’ve had to relocate most of the staff here, forcing them to waste time and, in some cases, gas, to get to other locations, while the technicians are busy making that lovely racket you’re hearing, trying to figure out why nothing wants to work in our conference rooms.”

Worker: “D***… Sounds like you could use a pick-me-up. Hmm…” *he looks down at the animal carrier* “Technically, pets aren’t allowed in the building, right?”

Me: “Uh… Well, technically, yes… but the owners really don’t care if anyone does bring one in. Why?”

(The worker opens the case and takes out a sleepy newborn puppy.)

Worker: “I was going to bring this fella up to say hello to the office while I grabbed some files, but I think he’d do more good for you right now.”

(He reaches over the reception desk and plops the puppy in my lap. It looks up at me, licks my hand, then curls up and goes back to sleep.)

Worker: “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(He goes up to his floor, leaving me with a warm, adorable ball of fluff to pet until he returns a while later.)

Worker: “Feeling better now?”

(I’m so absorbed in cooing over the puppy I almost jump at his voice.)

Me: “Uh… Surprisingly, yes. So much so, I’m almost annoyed I have to hand him over now.”

Worker: *laughs* “Obviously, it worked, then. I’ll make sure to bring him back soon, so you can remain acquainted.”

(I reluctantly handed the puppy back over; however, I also spent the rest of the day feeling so much happier than before. I make sure to let that worker know how much I appreciate little gestures like that every time I see him, and I also keep a small bag of doggie treats on hand for when he brings his pet in with him.)

Related:
A New Definition Of Puppy Love

(The only cable company available in my area is notorious for its bad customer service. I call them when my contract is expiring:)

Agent: “We don’t have any Internet-only plans.” *a lie*

Me: *young and naive* “Really? That sucks. Are you sure?”

Agent: “Yes. But I can offer you a deal that’s only $10 more a month!”

Me: “Are you sure that’s your only offer?”

Agent: “Yes.”

Me: “All right. I guess I’ll take it.”

(Later, when it’s a month before that contract expires, and I’m a little wiser, I go to the post office.)

Me: “Hello! I am here to mail my cable company’s box back to them.”

Mail Employee: “Oh. It’s that company. I’m going to print your receipt. Don’t lose it. They will claim you never sent the box and charge you.”

Me: “Got it.”

(Later, I call the cable company.)

Me: “Hi! I’m calling to make sure you received my package. I have the tracking number.”

Agent: “About that. We got it, but did you realize that you sent it a week early? We need to charge you a cancellation fee for that.”

Me: “What?!”

Agent: “You must have the box in your house until the contract expires, or it counts as an early cancellation.”

Me: “But then you’ll charge me a late fee for the time it takes to mail!”

Agent: “You could always use our store centers to drop it off.”

Me: “So, your ‘convenient mail-in system’ is a scam?”

Agent: “Of course not, ma’am! You just mailed it too early.”

Me: *switching tactics* “What about your online streaming thingy? I can still watch that, so it’s not a cancellation.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, but you must have the box in your home.”

(I finally give up and pay. I specifically ask to switch to a no-frills, Internet-only deal. The next month, my bill tries to charge me for a frill: an “Internet Boost!” that speeds up the Internet, or some scam like that. I call again.)

Agent: “I’m sorry it ended up on your bill, but it’s been half a month and you’ve already used the boost.”

Me: “How was I supposed to know it was there if you don’t generate my bill until the middle of the month? I called as soon as I was made aware.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, but you have used it.”

Me: “But it won’t appear again, right?”

Agent: “Not at all, ma’am!”

(Yeah, right. I annoyed the billing department every single day the next month by checking my bill and getting promises not to add it. It appeared again, and I said, “I don’t care anymore! I will live without Internet! It isn’t worth this nightmare!” Suddenly, they seemed all accommodating. I got it off my bill. Little did they know that I was moving in three months. That was also interesting. They tried to charge me a late equipment return fee for the cable box, which they took off my bill three more times, and they called me five times to convince me to stay with them. I told them I was moving wherever they weren’t, and that ended each call quickly, thankfully. I am so glad to get away from that company.)

(I work at a garden festival once a year, on a large grounds with almost no cell-phone reception. To communicate, all workers use walkie-talkies. “Phoning etiquette” states that you’re supposed to say which group of workers you want to contact first — i.e. “Entrance to Office” — and then wait for them to reply before actually starting a conversation, so those who aren’t mentioned know that they don’t have to listen carefully. Two of the chief organisers of the festival share a first name and have jokingly started to just message, “Mary to Mary,” and immediately start talking without waiting for a response. The boss, who we all only know by her last name, is not too happy about it, but it’s not a big problem.)

Walkie-Talkie: *during a slow time* “Mary to Mary, you want to take a smoke break? We just got cookies in the office.”

Boss: *through the walkie-talkie as well* “You do know everyone can hear this, right? It’s not for chitchat!” *laughing*

Mary #1: “You’re supposed to not listen if you’re not mentioned!”

Boss: “Well, too bad! My name is Mary, as well! I’m coming for those cookies!”

(Ten minutes later, I saw her walk by me with a large cookie in her hand. We never found out if her name is really Mary.)

(I always keep an extra phone charger plugged in at my desk in case I need it. My coworkers know this and tend to borrow it when they need to, if it’s not in use. I don’t mind, as we have a small office and I’ve never had an issue with anyone abusing it or not returning it. We had a new hire start about a month ago. He’s in the same office but a different department, so I don’t know him well. He comes and stands at my cubicle and puts his hand out.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Coworker: “My phone is dead.” *shows me his phone, which is a different brand*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t help you. I only have [Brand] charger; it won’t work with your phone.”

Coworker: “Seriously!? I was told to come to your desk for a charger. How could you only have [Brand]?”

Me: “I think there may have been a miscommunication. I keep an extra charger at my desk for my phone, which is [Brand]. I am more than happy to let other [Brand] users borrow it when I’m not using it, but I’m not the ‘keeper of the chargers’ for [Company].”

(I laugh a bit to lighten the mood, thinking maybe he thought that our work supplied chargers and I just held onto them. But no.)

Coworker: “Wow, that is the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard. If you make something accessible to one group, you should make it accessible to all. Equality, you know? [Other Brand] chargers aren’t that expensive; you should have bought one to share with people who don’t use your stupid elite phone!” *storms off*

Other Coworker: *across the aisle* “Did… Did he just yell at you for not having an extra charger for a phone you don’t own?”