Abe-normally Clueless

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | October 2, 2012

Pizza Guy: “So, will this be for delivery or for pick-up?”

Me: “Delivery. I live on [Street Number] Lincoln, like the president.”

Pizza Guy: “…Obama’s the president.”

Me: *speechless*

Half-Baked And Fully Lazy

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Working | October 2, 2012

(Note: The bakery and deli workers usually do their duties separately but if one of the sections needs help, we will help each other out.)

Bakery Coworker: “Can you and [Deli Coworker] come help us? We’re very behind.”

Me: “Sure, we’re not too behind. We can both go help you until you’re caught up, but then we have to come back and finish our job.”

Bakery Coworker: “Thank you so much!”

(We all go across the store to the bakery and me and Deli Coworker start working, Bakery Coworker, on the other hand, goes right to the phone and calls her boyfriend. Annoyed, I walk over to the phone and hit the button to hang the phone up.)

Bakery Coworker: “Um, what are you doing? I was talking to my boyfriend!”

Me: “I refuse to come over here and do YOUR work while you sit and chat with your boyfriend. If you have time to lean, you have time to clean. We have our own things to do without having to do your stuff!”

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An Alarming Way To Get Fired

| School|France | Working | October 1, 2012

(We’re at school taking an exam when the fire alarm is triggered. We all drop our our pens and prepare to leave, but the teacher, who stands in front of the door, doesn’t move an inch.)

Teacher: “Nobody leaves this classroom until I say so. Back to work!”

Class Rep: “We can’t work with the sound of the alarm. Besides, what if there—”

Teacher: “Back. To. Work.”

(Defeated, the class rep and the others continue to work. We hear the other classes leaving their rooms and going in the courtyard. 30 minutes later, we hear a fire truck’s siren coming to the school.)

Class Rep: “The firemen are here! We can’t stay in the class!”

Teacher: “[Class rep], either you shut your mouth or everybody gets minus points for your behavior.”

Class Rep: “The F***INGG firemen are here and you only care about your stupid test?! Are you insane?!”

Teacher: “[Class rep], you get a F- and I’m reporting you to the director. Leave the class at once!”

(The class rep storms off, but returns a few minutes later with the school director.)

Director: *to the teacher* “What are you doing? There’s a fire in here! You want to kill your students?!”

Teacher: “I have an exam to watch. Can we discuss this later?”

Director: “For God’s sake! Everybody, follow me!”

(In one swift move, the whole class runs out of the room, with the teacher yelling at us in tow and threatening to expel us for “purposely missing an exam”. Turns out there really was a fire in one of the classrooms. Nobody was hurt, but the class was destroyed. The teacher was fired the next week and the school is suing her for putting students’ lives in danger.)

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Your Math Is My Gain

| NJ, USA | Working | October 1, 2012

(I hand over a 20 dollar bill to pay for a $14 purchase. The employee incorrectly hands me back $11.)

Me: “You gave me back the wrong change. I gave you a 20. My total was 14, and you gave me back 11.”

Employee: *blank stare*

(I hand back the 10 and 1 dollar bills.)

Me: “You owe me 6, not 11.”

Employee: *blank stare*

Me:  “You gave me too much money.”

Employee: “Well, you don’t have to shop here!”

Giving Bad Managers A Pizza Your Mind

| Orlando, FL, USA | Working | October 1, 2012

(I worked a high school summer job at a place that emphasizes fast carry out. Our official corporate policy is to discard pizzas after 30 minutes. However, our manager always wants us to disobey this rule.)

Me: “Hey, these pizzas have been in the heat box since open. I’m going to toss them.”

Manager: “No! You need to sell them!”

Me:  “Look, they’re like five hours old. They’re burned from being in the hot box for hours. No one can eat that.”

Manager: “Just do what I say. Give it to the next customer.”

(A customer comes with his two little kids, who seem really excited about getting pizza. I can tell this family is really poor and a $5 pizza is a big deal. I just can’t do it.)

Me: “Hey, do me a favor and look at this pizza before you take it.” *shows him the burned pizza*

Customer: “Yeah, can I have a different one?”

Me: “Of course.”

(I toss out the ruined pizza and give him a new one. My manager sees this and gets angry.)

Manager: “I told you to sell that one!”

Me: “No way. I can’t rip people off like that. I quit!”

(I wrote a letter to the owner. When I came back to pick up my last check, I found out that my manager had been fired!)

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