A coworker is reading a newspaper during lunch break.
Coworker: “Our artists are dying out. We’re losing so many great artists, actors, singers… and nobody to replace them.”
Me: “Yeah, what doubles as ‘celebrity’ today is mostly known for eating gunk in a jungle.”
Coworker: “Not even that, but here, another actor dead. Every week, you hear this singer is dead or that actor is dead, but you never get to read about any being born.”
Me: “…”
I have just started working for a small company that promotes an extremely fit, healthy, and ethically-minded lifestyle. As a result, a lot of my new coworkers are these beautiful and toned Greek gods and goddesses. While I do exercise twice a week, I am the definition of “average build” compared to these people, but since I have been hired for my IT skills, no one is expecting me to have a six-pack.
During my first few days, I am told that sometimes Human Resources brings in cupcakes from a local bakery. That same day, after finishing a long work task, I see a box of cupcakes on the kitchen table from the local bakery, as described.
I help myself to one, and it’s very good! It’s a little dry, but the flavor is perfect. As I am chewing on a cupcake, one of the goddesses walks in.
Coworker: “Oh, finally! Someone is eating the cupcakes!”
Me: “What do you mean, ‘finally’?”
Coworker: “No one here really eats those. They’ve just been left out.”
Me: “Uh… for how long?”
Coworker: “I think they got them last week sometime?”
Me: “And you just left them here for people to just… eat?!”
Coworker: “Well… we all just kinda ignore them.”
Me: “Obviously!”
I was known as “Cupcake Guy” for the next five years that I worked there. Thankfully, I did not get sick from the one-week-old cupcake, but I threw away the rest. After that, every time HR came in with a free box of cupcakes, they just gave them to me directly!
I remember years ago in the store where I worked, my coworker and I were helping the owner of a local beauty salon. She suddenly turned to my coworker and said:
Salon Owner: “You would look so much better with whiter teeth! Come to my salon and I will help you!”
She kept spouting about it.
My coworker was a stunning young woman. There was nothing wrong with her teeth, but thanks to that salon owner, [Coworker] became very self-conscious about her teeth. She asked me if they needed whitening. I told her no, but she did end up going to a dentist for a whitening treatment that she did not need.
I am grocery shopping, and in the snack aisle, I notice that has someone left a bottle of milk. I pick it up, and it feels room temperature. An employee happens to pass by.
Me: “Excuse me. Someone left this milk here, and feels like it’s been here for a while.”
I hand the milk to him.
Employee: “Oh, it does. I guess I’ll have to put it back in the fridge.”
He immediately walks off. It takes me a little too long to register what he actually said, and I try to call out.
Me: “SIR!”
Too late: there was no sign of him anywhere. The milk had likely already been put back, and there was no sign of any other employees so I could tell them about it. I ended up having to get checked out shortly so as not to miss my bus.
Now I’ve decided not to get anything that needs to be kept cold from that store.
Last year, when my auto policy renewed, the overall number looked the same, but for some reason, the monthly payments were doubled. I thought that was weird and looked at the details of the policy, and I realized that the overall number was only for six months, not a year. I looked into my online account and found that they had added my older daughter, who lives several states away.
I couldn’t change anything online without proof that she didn’t live with me, so I called customer service and finally got an agent.
I explained that my daughter was an adult child living in a completely different area, and I didn’t ask for her to be added to the account. The guy was able to pull her off easily enough. When I pushed about how she got added in the first place, he muttered an explanation of how the underwriters could add on anyone they thought was in the house and a driver of the cars without authorization needed.
They didn’t try it again at the next renewal, but the fact that they tried to hide it by doing a six-month policy instead of one year so the numbers evened out made me think they knew darn well it wasn’t on the up and up. I stayed with them since the cost for auto and house is still much lower than everywhere else quoted, but I make sure to review all the papers.
