Working Retail Gets You A Solid(arity) Discount

(I’ve worked multiple retail jobs in my life, but I am a customer in this case. My boyfriend and I are shopping at a local clothing store in the mall. He is looking at something across the store as I am perusing some shirts by myself when a well-to-do, middle-aged woman walks up to me.)

Woman: “Excuse me, but where are your running clothes?”

(I stop, take a pointed look down at my oversized hoodie, band t-shirt, ripped jeans, and cartoon-character-themed shoes, then look back at her with a completely indifferent face.)

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t work here, and I don’t know.”

Woman: *turning red-raced with anger* “Well, how was I supposed to know?!”

(Immediately, she turns around to the clothing display she wanted and starts angrily tearing up the display while looking for her size.)

Me: “O…kay.”

(I end up finding a few shirts that are discounted from sixty dollars each to twenty five, and make my way to the checkout in wonder that that actually happened. The checkout area is set up where the waiting person has to stand behind a sign, a few feet back from the register, until a lane is open. I am waiting for about five minutes by myself before these two highschool-aged looking girls come up and begin waiting behind me. It is another two minutes before the lane opens up.)

Exhausted Cashier: “Next!”

(I start walking up, and the two girls start to follow me. With a big, exhausted, not-again sigh, the cashier starts waving for them to step back.)

Exhausted Cashier: “One at a time, please. Unless you’re with her, you need to wait so she can have privacy while checking out.”

Teen Girl #1: “Of course we’re, like, with her!”

Teen Girl #2: “Yeah!”

Me: *turning around and done with this whole charade* “Are you stupid? I’ve never seen you before in my life! Go wait in f****** line and stop being idiots!”

(Both girls look like they just smelled something horrendous and go back to wait in line. The cashier looks at me with a relieved expression I know all too well.)

Exhausted Cashier: “Thank you.”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. I’ve worked so many retail jobs before. Long day?”

Exhausted Cashier: *waves to literal mountain of return clothes behind her, and two overflowing return racks* “Tell me about it. It seems like I’ve gotten nothing but stupid all day.”

Me: “Yikes. I don’t even work here, and I’ve had my fill of stupid here, too.”

(I start telling her about the woman who approached me earlier while the two girls behind me continue tittering about the “terrible service.” The cashier’s jaw drops when I finish, then she asks the obligatory “do you have a discount card with us?” questions, to which I say no. I let her finish up, but when I hear the total, I stop her.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t have the discount card.”

Exhausted Cashier: “Oh, no, honey. I put in your employee’s discount. It took an extra [percentage] off. That will be $40.62, today.”

Me: “But I don’t…” *dawning realization in relation to my story* “Oh! Oh, my gosh, thank you!”

Exhausted Cashier: “Don’t worry about it. Have a great day, girl.”

(I ended up saving a total of $80 between the sale and the discount! My boyfriend laughed so hard about it we ended up going out for ice cream to “celebrate my new job.” If crazy still finds me while being a customer, I’m glad I got out of the industry!)