Working In A Deli Isn’t Wasted Years

(My coworker created a deli-themed rapper alter-ego for himself. Sometimes when we’re not busy, he talks about what his alter-ego would sing about or what his concerts would be like.)

Coworker: “What do you think about this for the cover of the [Deli-Themed Rapper] album?”

(He crouches down with a box of fried chicken in his hand and tries to look tough.)

Me: “I think you should turn around and be like Nicki Minaj.”

(He and our other coworker crack up.)

Me: “My album cover would be my headless body slicing my head on the slicer, while it looks at you and grins horribly.”

Coworker: “Dude, that’s awesome.”

Me: “It’s like something out of Garbage Pail Kids. Or Iron Maiden, if they did deli stuff.”

Coworker: “I think, ‘Iron Maiden if they did deli stuff,’ might be the weirdest phrase I’ve heard all week.”

Me: “Cool. My job is done!”