Scared Of Using The Grey Matter

(It is the first day of a college-level British literature class. The teacher has just announced that we will be reading ‘Jane Eyre’ throughout the semester, and is giving a standard ‘first day’ lecture – going over the syllabus, talking about different editions of the book that are available, etc…)

Teacher: “…and that’s the edition I’ll be using, in case you want to reference my page numbers. The next—”

(Suddenly, a student in the front row puts her hand in the air.)

Teacher: “Yes?”

Student: “What will we be DOING with this book?”

(The teacher stares blankly at her for a moment, apparently trying to decide whether she is serious.)

Teacher: “… Reading it. And talking about it.”

Student: “Will we have to write things about it?”

Teacher: *staring harder* “… Yes.”

(The girl considers this information while the teacher moves to resume her lecture. The moment she opens her mouth, the same student puts her hand in the air again.)

Student: “Can we read Shades of Grey instead?”