The Work Day Started Swimmingly

(Overnight we had a pretty steady downpour of rain but I didn’t think much of it until I went to leave for work in the morning. I step out onto my front porch and am forced to stop for I can no longer see the street… or the stairs leading up to my building. They’re completely under water. Reluctantly I call my boss. Note: I don’t drive so I walk the 2.5 miles to work.)

Me: “So… I don’t think I’m going to be able to come in to work today. My apartment has become lakefront property.”

Boss: “What?”

Me: “The roads are completely flooded. I see nothing but water.”

Boss: “It’s not even raining that hard.”

Me: “I know.”

Boss: “I passed by [River near my apartment] on my way to work. It’s not even close to being flooded.”

Me: “It’s not the river. It’s the sewage drain. It’s clogged and backs up when it rains and it’s been raining nonstop since last night. Guess the water had nowhere to go.”

Boss: “It’s fine; there’s no reason you can’t come in.”

Me: “I don’t own a boat.”

Boss: “What?”

Me: “So the water has literally filled up half of the first floor hallway. The first floor is below ground. Fire-fighters are taking boats from [Main Street] to get to us to make sure we’re okay.”

Boss: “You can find a way to get here.”

Me: “[Boss], I’ve been standing here on the porch watching the cars in the parking lot slowly sinking under the water. Plus, I’m not sure I’m dedicated enough to the job to swim in sewer water to get there.”

(Needless to say, I did not go in to work that day, even though it stopped raining about an hour later and once that happened the water drained rather quickly. My boss was less angry with me after I showed him pictures of the damages done.)