Words Escape Me

(My manager’s boss is currently supervising everything. I have just started my shift, with only a single customer in the place and myself. The customer and a coworker who has just finished their shift are talking.)

Me: “I haven’t seen [friendly old customer’s name] in a while. Is he okay ?”

Customer: “Yeah he’s doing okay, but you know at 86 years old—”

Me: “He’s not running a marathon, ha ha.”

(We all start laughing and we keep talking.)

Manager’s Boss: *at the other side of the shop* “STOP TALKING!”

All Three Of Us: “What?”

Manager’s Boss: “You’re allowed to talk ONLY when the customer has left!”

Coworker: “But we’re talking WITH HIM!”

Manager’s Boss: “STOP!”

(We see the customer’s face change from friendly to REALLY annoyed.)

Customer: “The customer is not happy.”

Manager’s Boss: “I DON’T CARE! NOW STOP OR IT’S A DISCIPLINARY ACTION!”

Customer: “Wow, and I thought the priority was customer service.”

Manager’s Boss: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

(All three of us look at each other in an awkward silence. My coworker suddenly shows us a sheet of paper where he has written ‘Have a good day!’ and runs out while we are trying to stop laughing since we were not allowed to speak.)

Manager’s Boss: “OKAY, THAT’S IT!”

(I get a disciplinary action, and later that day the same customer comes back to complain to the manager about the manager’s boss. The next day the customer calls corporate to make a real complaint. The manager’s boss says that it is my fault, since I didn’t explain it to her on that day. Now everyone who knows the story—and that’s a lot since the customer has got a lot of friends around—keeps asking if she’s ‘The Evil Queen’ who will stop them from speaking.)