Wood You Take A Moment To Examine Your Entitlement?

I live in a large city — over one million people — and rather than buy wood for my barbecue and fireplace, I watch for tree removal and salvage local material. Our plant waste is removed one cubic yard per week, and therefore, most homeowners are more than willing to allow others to salvage wood so that it does not harm their grass. It is a win-win situation.

At a nearby home, a large tree had been removed, which was conveniently on the road leading to my home. The tree was close to eighty feet tall and four feet thick at its largest point prior to removal. The branches were the size of normal trees, but it was rotten in the center. I received permission to take as much wood as I wanted. Every day, I carried a maul, which is a sledgehammer-axe combination for splitting wood, and I would immediately load split pieces.

During this work, a woman in a car stopped and asked me if the wood was for sale. I advised that it was free. The woman pulled over, exited her vehicle, inspected the pile, and eventually started admiring my truckload.

Woman: “Take this wood out of your car and put it in mine.”

Me: “No, that will not do. Once it’s in my truck, it isn’t coming out. But I will split some wood and help you load it.”

This apparently was not good enough. She tried to make me feel bad, but I advised her that providing any help was more than required. She resorted to rude comments, and I advised her that she could then split and load her own wood.

I thought that was the end when she left angrily, but no. Law enforcement arrived on the scene within fifteen minutes having received a report.

Peace Officer: “Are you making money?”

Me: “No, making chicken and ribs.”

The peace officers laughed at that. I explained the woman’s actions and we laughed a bit more.

Peace Officer: “When are you barbecuing?”

Me: “This weekend! Just follow the good smells for a heaping plate.”