Wood You Like To Reconsider Your Options?

I used to work for a store that sold home goods as well as furniture. Though it was all set up together in one building, the two sides of the business were carried on differently, and this is the story of a time when I, from the home goods side, screwed up while taking a call for the furniture side.

This woman had purchased a nice dining room table from us six months earlier, but she told me the finish was already ruined and she was very upset. I apologized and asked her a few questions about how she used it. Apparently, she had two young boys and was using the table every day in her kitchen, where it was taking spills and abuse non-stop.

I brought up her sale in our computers and saw there were no notes about care, so I apologized again and offered to replace the table, but I warned her that what she needed was a much less expensive kitchen table. Her dining room table cost $1,600 because it was made completely from real, unpressed wood. I told her we could refund the difference.

Customer: “I don’t want a kitchen table; I want a replacement for the exact one I have!”

Me: “Ma’am, the pits and stains you’re seeing aren’t due to any defect in the product; they are just a natural consequence of water and roughness with the material. I could help you choose some coverings and tablecloths to protect the wood.”

Customer: “No, I want to be able to see the table.”

Me: “You could use placemats and coasters.”

She suddenly became agitated and shouted at me.

Customer: “For $1,600, I shouldn’t need to use a coaster!”

I was so taken aback, I just blurted out:

Me: “It’s made of wood!”

And that’s when I remembered that the furniture salespeople put their notes in a different part of the computer. The saleswoman had written, “I begged her not to buy this table.”

But I had already promised to replace it, so now I was stuck. I told the customer I found this note indicating that she had been informed of the care ahead of time and warned that the table would not suit her needs. She still insisted on taking a replacement table.

Me: “If you don’t use coasters and placemats, the new table will look just as bad in six months.”

Customer: “Then I’ll swap it in again.”

I will never forgive myself for giving that woman anything at all.