Won’t Step Foot In Without Square Footing

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling. This is the front desk. How may I help?”

Caller: “You can help me by telling me some info on your rooms!”

Me: “Okay, what would you like to know?”

(I’m expecting the usual questions, like how many beds, whether there’s a fridge, etc.)

Caller: “Tell me, what is the square footage of the rooms?”

Me: “Square footage? I don’t… know.”

Caller: “What do you mean? It’s a simple question!”

Me: “Well, it’s the first time I had a question like that. You’ll have to ask the contractor who designed the place, or the owner might know…”

Caller: “Give me them, then! I need to know now!”

Me: “They aren’t here. It’s three am where we are now.”

(The man rants about stupid people, and calling corporate, and me being unhelpful, etc. using foulest language I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard lots. At his pause I speak up.)

Me: “Would you like to book here?”

Caller: *still screaming* “No, I wouldn’t ever want to book there—”

Me: “That’s very good news. We thank you.” *I hang up*