Won’t Make Eye Contact After This

(I’m with my friends at the movies. As I’m looking at the featured attractions I can’t help but frown as most of the movies only have a 3D version and no normal version.)

Me: “I wish that they would at least have non-3D versions of all the movies playing, too. My dad wants to see a lot of them but can’t enjoy them because of the 3D.”

Moviegoer: *in front of us looks to me and sneers* “Your dad needs to get with the times. If he HATES 3D movies then he should just wait for the DVD release then and stop his moaning. But he just hates it because it ‘new and hip.’ And why should you complain? You a daddy’s girl? Gotta protect your daddy?”

Me: “Excuse you. I never said he hated 3D—”

Moviegoer: “Then why wouldn’t he want to go, huh?!”

Me: “Because, jerk, he’s blind in his left eye. The 3D effects do nothing for him—”

Moviegoer: “Tch! The glasses—”

Me: “THOSE glasses don’t work either! It just makes the movie darker for him and if he takes them off it’s all blurry because of the 3D effect.”

Moviegoer: “But—”

Me: “And I NEVER said he hated them. He will still go and see them, but they’re not as fun for him.”

Moviegoer: “Uh—”

Me: “So next time you assume that just because somebody is older than you and may not like something; it’s not because they’re old and can’t ‘move with the times.’ It could be a legit problem, d***. Now, if you’ll excuse us, YOU’RE in our way. Move it!”

Moviegoer: *goes red and scurries away*

Friend: “You know… I wanted to smack him so hard… but I think you smacking him down like that was much better.”