Won’t Even Wi-Fi Try

(I work as a salesman in the computer section of an electronics store. We have a separate department that specializes in fixing and troubleshooting most problems. Despite this, many people think the salesmen at the store are miracle workers, and come to us for advice. I see a customer wandering into my section and I approach her.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, can you find the Wi-Fi password?”

Me: “For the store?”

Customer: “No, for my house. I can’t connect to the Internet.”

Me: “Do you have the router with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know model your router is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know what brand your router is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy it at our store? Maybe you can point it out to me.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Most routers have a sticker with the password on it. Do you have one or know where it is on your router? Seeing as I have absolutely nothing to work with, the only thing I can suggest is to go home and take a look at that.”

Customer: “So, you can’t help me? [Troubleshooting Department] couldn’t help me, either!”

Me: “We’re not wizards.”