Won’t Be On Hold For Your B.S.

(I work as a delivery driver for a national pizza chain. The store hours have just ended — it was a Saturday and we close at two am on those nights). Just as I am getting ready to head out on the last delivery of the night, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; I am sorry; we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “Hi, I would like to order delivery.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our ovens are off and we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “But I called earlier and was put on hold and no one got back to me. Why didn’t you just say you were closed then?”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Could you tell me when you originally called?”

Customer: “I don’t know, about an hour ago.”

(We hadn’t had any calls except for the delivery I was getting ready to take in the past hour.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we haven’t had any calls in the past hour that we have had to put on hold.”

Customer: “Fine, b****.”

(The customer hangs up and I am about to leave again, and the phone rings. Different number, with a different person speaking, but I can hear the same person in the background.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]! I am sorry; we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “Yeah, I want delivery.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “But I was on hold forever and just finally called back. I want food!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are closed.”

Customer: “I was on hold forever and no one came back and now you tell me you are closed? Why can’t you give me pizza?”

Me: “Sir, the ovens are turned off. We are closed. The other location in town is still open, but they will not deliver to this part of town.”

Customer: “You are no help. F*** you.”

Me: “Well, then… sorry you are a dumb-a**.”