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Won’t Accept Your Olive Branch

| Right | March 8, 2016

(I’m working in a pizza shop, and an irate customer has just brought his pizza back up to the counter to my coworker.)

Customer: “I ordered this pizza WITHOUT mushrooms, and it is completely covered in mushrooms!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m very certain that pizza has no mushrooms on it. It contains all the meats, onions, black olives, and cheese.”

Customer: “And I’m telling you I see mushrooms all over it.” *lifts up cheese and displays a black olive* “See? Right HERE!”

Coworker: “Sir, that is a black olive.”

Customer: “I know what a god-d*** f****** mushroom looks like, so don’t tell me that!”

Coworker: “Very well, sir, I’ll remake the pizza and give you free drink refills while you wait.”

Customer: “Just hurry up, then!”

(I remade the pizza, once again without mushrooms. Customer receives his pizza and starts the same dialogue again. Since this was before smart phones or even the Internet, it was not possible to bring up a picture of an actual mushroom to show the customer what an idiot he was being.)

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