With No Niece It’s Not As Nice

, , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I win a gift card for a two-person meal at a local restaurant and I take my sister with me. The restaurant is in the middle of a rush and completely understaffed when we get there. There are three staff members dealing with over thirty people. The two waitresses are extremely nice to me and my sister, explaining why everything is taking so long and apologizing every couple of minutes. The problems only start when a couple sits down behind us.)

Angry Customer #1:Well! I didn’t expect there to be such a rush!

Angry Customer #2: “All I can say is our niece had better be working today.”

(The waitress comes over.)

Waitress: “Can I help you two with anything today?”

Angry Customer #2: “We’ll have the [meal], and have [Niece] cook it.”

Waitress: “Actually, [Niece] isn’t a chef, and she isn’t working today.”

Angry Customer #1:What? We drove all this way here! All I can say is the food had better be good!

Angry Customer #2:Why isn’t [Niece] a chef? She cooks all the time at our house!”

Waitress: “I’m not sure, ma’am, but she’s—“

Angry Customer #1: *cuts off* “It doesn’t matter. Just get our food and make it quick!”

(The poor waitresses are doing their best, but while they are working, the awful couple keeps calling them over to complain about EVERYTHING, especially how they aren’t the only people in the restaurant.)

Angry Customer #1: *calls the waitress over* “You know, we are from a ‘Small Town’–”

(He says this like he is admitting to secretly being Jesus or something. You can hear the capital letters clicking into place.)

Angry Customer #1: “—and we aren’t accustomed to having this many people, or waiting this long.”

My Sister: *loudly* “I’m from an even smaller town, and I’m having a great time!”

Angry Customer #1: *ignores her* “And you shouldn’t keep apologizing for the rush; you’ll be getting tips off of it, so what do you care?”

Angry Customer #2: “If you are really having so much trouble, you should hire my husband.” *gestures at [Angry Customer #1]*He actually knows how to cook!”

Waitress: “Well, I admit I don’t know how; my girlfriend does all the cooking for me at home.”

Angry Customer #1: *hissing intake of breath* “So that’s why! Well, I hope our food will be done soon!

(My sister is convinced that he and his wife don’t want to tip after they heard their niece wasn’t working. These awful people actually get their food around the same time as my sister and I, even though they came in half an hour later. The poor staff is really being run ragged. The dinner the man ordered comes with a dessert. Therefore, the waitress asks if he would like it, adding that some people don’t so she has to ask.)

Angry Customer #1: “Do I look like I need dessert?!”

Waitress: “I… I don’t know?”

Angry Customer #2: “Just get us our leftovers boxes.”

Waitress: *has tried to be perky the whole time, smiles* “Yes, ma’am.”

Angry Customer #2: “Well, aren’t you glad to be rid of us!”

(I am still surprised that the waitress didn’t say, “Yes!” immediately, but we were FINALLY rid of them. There is a somewhat cool ending, though: since my sister had ordered one of the dinners that came with a dessert, and I hadn’t, I was going to buy a dessert, too, but since I had been so nice to the waitress and thanked her and said, “Please,” when I ordered, she gave me the dessert for free! I tried to leave a big tip; I don’t know if I did since I don’t go to restaurants often. But the waitress seemed so shocked and surprised when I gave it to her, that I had to assume we were the first that day to give her one.)

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