With No Bacon, Comes No Legal Responsibility

I’m brewing coffee at a hospital cafeteria when a guy walks in. It is 10:20 am.

Customer: “Where is the breakfast?! I came down here for pancakes and bacon! Get me pancakes and bacon!”

Me: “Sir, the hot food ends at 9:30; you’re about half an hour late.”

Customer: “Bull! Your menu says you serve breakfast until 10:30. I’m a lawyer and I will sue you for false advertising.”

I point to the large-print menu right behind him.

Me: “As you can see, we have hot breakfast until 9:30, and then continental breakfast until 10:30. Maybe that’s what you saw.”

I show him the bagels, cold cereal, coffee, and fruit. He makes me explain three times what a continental breakfast is, interspersed with vague threats and “I’m a lawyer.” 

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am sure you aren’t a lawyer. The only people who say that are trying to bully people. Also, sir, are you really suggesting you would try and sue a hospital cafeteria because you couldn’t get some bacon?”

He huffed, grabbed his free coffee, and left while mumbling something about “lawyer…”

Related:
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 5
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 4
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 3
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 2
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility