Wishing These Snobs Many Happy Returns

While working in the UK tax authority, I get assigned to a record with a large debt that is clearly an error, as this year’s tax return is literally a hundred times as much as the previous year’s. The taxpayer is known to be… difficult, and the notes show that he’s abused staff before over this issue, even though it’s not our fault; his return was just wrong.

He is now at the stage where we’re ready to send him to enforcement as this debt is several months old. I give him a call to see if I can sort everything out. I introduce myself and confirm I have the correct person.

Me: “Can I just confirm a few details before we carry on?”

Taxpayer: “Sure, but make it quick.”

I verify three of the four needed details.

Taxpayer: *Interrupting* “I don’t have time for this. You’ll need to send a letter to my accountant.”

The record only has the taxpayer listed as a contact, and we don’t routinely communicate through letters, anyway, as it’s a data security risk.

Me: “Okay, sir, what’s the number of your accountant so that I can speak with them?”

Taxpayer: “You have it on file.”

No, we don’t.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t seem to find it. Do you have it at hand?”

Taxpayer: “No, I know that you have it. I won’t tell you how to do your job! Send the letter to my accountant now!” *Click*

Okay, sir, I’ll send you that letter. You know, the one that says that we’ve sent you to enforcement and you can expect legal proceedings to follow? All because you’re just too important to speak to an office worker like me? Sure, I’ll happily send that one out!

We don’t exist to just steal from people. If he’d just listened to us and worked with us, we could have solved it on the phone then and there. He just needed to say, “Yes, this is an error,” and submit a corrected return!