Wish You Could Be Night Swift

(I work third shift as a night watch-lady. The company I work for is notoriously cheap and indifferent to their employees. Every year, the guards have to have their information renewed for some inexplicable reason and must go to headquarters downtown to do so, again, for some inexplicable reason. Being a third shifter, I sleep during the day. Unfortunately, my boss informs me that I have to go in at 9:30 in the morning to get my card renewed and to my dismay, the receptionist I’m dealing with is an infamously aggravating woman hired in through nepotism and whose life goal seems to be tormenting the employees. I get to the place after work. Since I’m very groggy and am a little early, I decide to call her on her posted work cell number since she isn’t there yet.)

Me: “Hello? Is this [Receptionist]? It’s [My Name]. I’m here to renew my card information for [Company].”

Receptionist: “What?”

Me: “Uh, I’m here to renew my information.”

Receptionist: “Yeah, I HEARD that. What are you doing there at 8:30 in the morning?”

Me: “Well, I just got off work; I thought maybe I could get here a little early and get home and go to sleep quicker.”

Receptionist: “Uh, no, I told you to be here at 9:30, no earlier! You can just go on home and then come back then.”

Me: “But I live in [rural area 10 miles away].”

Receptionist: “That’s too bad, but I’m NOT coming in any earlier than 9:30.”

Me: “But—”

Receptionist: “I am NOT spelling it out for you! You’re clearly a big girl; you can handle a half-hour without sleep! Nine. Thirty! Sharp!”

Me: “Fine! D***!”

(I hang up before she can call me out for swearing. I proceed to sit down in the lobby, practically falling asleep against the wall and getting more irritated and grumpy by the second. About twenty minutes later, one of the other managers comes in and notices me slumped in the chair.)

Manager: “Uh… have you been helped?”

Me: “No.”

Manager: “Are you…?”

Me: “I’m a night guard. I’m here to get my information renewed. I just got off my shift, so I’m exhausted. I just want to get it done, go home, and sleep.”

Manager: “Well, let’s get you on back here and fill this form out.”

(Somewhat bewildered, I follow him, fill out the form in less than a minute, get my picture taken, and then five minutes later I’m done.)

Manager: “Okay, we’re all set. Go on home and get some sleep.”

Me: “Thanks… Uh, I’m really sorry I was kinda rude back there…”

Manager: “Nah, it’s okay. You’re tired; I understand. Have a good day, okay?”

(I do so, now feeling bad about being snippy with him. I just about reach the stairs when I realize I’ve forgotten my purse. I hurry back up to grab it and as I open the door, I hear the manager talking on the phone in the other room.)

Manager: “No, I don’t want to hear it! Listen to me right now… No, I am NOT going to have her fired for being rude! She had every right to be… No, she also had every right to call you when you weren’t here… Okay, listen, [Receptionist], I’m telling you right now; you do NOT call our night workers to come in for five minute meetings in the god-d*** MORNINGS! Of COURSE she was pissed! She’d just gotten off work! Next time just leave the d*** paper on the counter! If I hear one more story about a night person coming in for a pointless meeting with you in the morning, then I’ll have you moved to the stockroom.”

(He slammed the phone down. I slunk in, grabbed my purse, and slunk out. And you know? I never got another call before four in the afternoon from her again.)