Wish You Could Be Anywhere Else

(My mom slips and falls down the stairs, twisting her ankle badly. There is no one there at the time, so she gets up barely and limps to the bathroom to bandage it. When I come home, I see her bruised and swollen ankle.)

Me: “What happened?”

Mom: “I fell down the stairs! And you weren’t there!”

Me: “Mom, I was at school…”

Mom: “YOU WEREN’T THERE!”

(My dad arrived and made her go to the doctor to make sure it wasn’t broken. It wasn’t, and she kept staring at me accusingly and saying, ‘YOU WEREN’T THERE!’)