Wish She’d Been So Late She Missed The Whole Thing

I have a coworker who likes to pull the absolute dumbest power moves in the history of power moves. She sends me a text message one minute after an all-staff call meeting starts. This meeting literally happens every single day at exactly the same time. She comes onto the meeting five minutes late.

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], did you get my text message?”

Me: “If you sent it in the last five minutes, then no.”

I know she is perfectly aware that I don’t have my phone on me during meetings as she has pulled this BS in the past.

Coworker: “So, you didn’t see my text message?”

Me: “What was it about?”

Coworker: “You didn’t get my text message?”

Me: “Not if you sent it while we were in the meeting.”

Coworker: “Well, did you get a text message from me?”

Me: *Confused* “The one you sent all of us ten minutes ago?”

I am wondering why she is bothering asking me about a text message she sent to all of us, essentially bragging how she was on the phone with a client and would be late. I don’t realize there is another text message, because again, I am in the middle of a meeting and I don’t have my phone on me, because I am not an animal. And again, I have said such!

Coworker: “So, you don’t have another text message from me?”

Me: *Getting fed up* “Again, I haven’t checked while we are in the meeting.”

Coworker: *Offended* “Well, I was just asking!”

Yes, and I answered. Three times now, you jerk. And no, I am not going to get my phone and be rude in the middle of a meeting because you’re a power-hungry idiot. Why she couldn’t outright ask the question is beyond me. It wasn’t confidential. She wanted to know when a package was arriving — information her lazy butt had access to.