Wish You Could Maintain Radio Silence

(I am a producer at an AM radio station that has an affiliation with a television news station. With a generally older listenership, this is an example of the kind of calls I get on a daily basis.)

Me: “[Station], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, is this [Station]?”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, channel five is in Spanish”

Me: “Your television channel?”

Caller: “Yes. Can you fix it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I think you have the wrong number. This is the radio station”

Caller: “Yes, I know that. What I want is to know why they are speaking Spanish on channel five.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think I can help you with that. You should try calling your service provider”

Caller: “I am calling my service provider. You control that news station with that weather guy. So, why can’t you fix my TV?”

Me: “We don’t control the TV station. We are a radio station.”

Caller: “Okay, put me through to the TV people.”

Me: “I can’t put you through to them. They are a different company. You have to call a new number. They only broadcast on channel ten, anyway; they can’t help you, either”

Caller: “Why can’t you just fix this?! Let me talk to your boss!”

Me: “Sir, I am the producer of this show. I’m the only person you can talk to right now; you called the hotline.”

Caller: “Jesus Christ! I’m writing a letter!”

Me: “Thanks for listening. Have a nice day.”

(Never did see that letter. He probably sent it to the TV station.)