Wish He Was Buying A Cone Of Silence

, , , , , , | Right | January 6, 2021

I work in an ice cream shop. We currently cannot accept cards due to a problem with the computers. It’s a problem that has been its own week-long ordeal, mostly unrelated to the meat of this story. The point is, however, that we have multiple signs posted.

A family comes in; a mum, a dad, and two kids. The mum orders three ice creams. When I give her the total, she tries to hand me a card. I explain that we can’t take cards right now and that she’ll have to pay with cash. She doesn’t look thrilled but agrees. To be helpful, I offer to keep her ice cream in the fridge while she goes to the cash point. She agrees and I put it in the fridge. I then get distracted by another customer but can see her talking to her husband in the background.

Suddenly, the husband approaches my till and throws down a handful of change.

Husband: “I have £2.50.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s £7.70, sir.”

Husband: “This is ridiculous. You should have signs up saying you can’t take cards.”

Me: “We do.”

I point to a sign right in front of him.

Husband: “Well, I didn’t see it! It should be in my line of sight!” 

He goes on a rant about how the signs should be specially placed where HE can see them.

Me: *Losing patience* “Sir, it’s still £7.70. There’s a cash machine just down the road.”

Husband: “I want to see your manager!”

Now, for most people, this is the worst possible thing that could happen. My managers are awesome, and I know they will recognize this man for the idiot he is being, so I fetch the nearest manager.

I explain the situation to the manager, and the husband starts his rant up again.

Husband: “There should be more signs than just that one up!”

He points at the sign by the card machine.

Me: “Sir, we have had plenty of customers today, and none of them have had a problem seeing the sign.”

Husband: *Very condescending tone* “I am talking to the manager! We are out on a trip, and I am not inclined to go back to the high street to go to a cash machine!”

He doesn’t want to pay… because he can’t be bothered to walk the two minutes it would take to go to a cash point?!

He then starts trying to convince the manager to let him leave without paying, offering to give the manager his contact details and swearing that he will come in tomorrow to pay.

Manager: *Gloriously sarcastic* “Sir, if you can’t be arsed to walk to a cash machine right now, do you really think we’ll believe that you’ll keep your word and come back to pay?”

The husband swears on everything from the Holy Book, to his mum’s grave, to the snow in Narnia that he WILL come back tomorrow. Just believe him! He WILL do it! His promises grow increasingly more outlandish the longer he talks and the longer manager just stands there with an immovable “no” face.

Me: “Sir, in the time we’ve been debating this, you could have been to the cash point and back, and on with your day.”

The husband is already talking over me before I’ve finished speaking.

Husband: “I am talking to the manager!

Me: “Yes, you are. And now I’m refusing to serve you.”

The man looks at the manager, looking a little gob-smacked.

Manager: “Don’t look at me. Either get your cash from the cash point, or get out. You’re not getting your cones until the entire total crosses my counter in cash.”

Husband: “But I only have £2.50 and I don’t want to walk all that way.”

Manager: “Sucks to be you.”

The man stares, slack-jawed, for a moment, then leaves.

Manager: *To me* “Watch the front. I’m sending an email up the ladder in case he complains.”

It was so nice to know that not all managers sold their souls when they got promoted. And no, we never heard about the incident again.

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