Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 39

I handle escalated calls at my job, so whenever a customer becomes too angry for the rep to handle, they are transferred to me.

Customer: *Shouting* “I am furious! I was told this is a wireless router! Your dumbf*** technician keeps f****** telling me that I need to ‘plug it in.’ It’s wire-less. How does someone as stupid as him still have a job here? And you had better not tell me the same thing! Wireless means no wires!“

Me: “I apologize, madam. Our advertisers have done a poor job labelling the router. What is actually meant by ‘wireless’ is that it requires ‘fewer wires’ than other models. The router will still need to be connected to a power outlet and to the modem, but you will not require any wires to connect it to your computer.”

Customer: *Suddenly completely calm* “Oh, I see! Fewer wires! Why didn’t somebody tell me that? But I still want something with no wires; it’s all too complicated for me. Do you offer a wire-free router?”

Me: “No madam, wire-free routers are not currently available, by us or any other company. But I’d be happy to walk you through connecting and setting up your wireless router.”

From there, I was able to help her set everything up. Now everyone at our call centre uses the same definition of “wireless” as I do!

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 38
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 37
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 36
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 35
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34