Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30

(I work in tech support for an Internet company, taking calls for installers that are having issues with the install. The following is a call I receive.)

Me: “What kind of issue are you having?”

Caller: “I am not able to get on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.”

(I pause a moment to confirm the modem is provisioning.)

Me: “The modem is provisioned correctly. Have you checked your IP address?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Do you know how to check for the IP?”

Caller: “Negative.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What operating system are you using?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Vista, 7, XP?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Okay, what does your start button look like? Round with the Windows logo in the center?”

Caller: “You mean the circle with the rainbow looking thing in the center?”