Wireless, Clueless and Hopeless

(A customer calls into our tech support line and says she is having a problem with her computer.)

Me: “So, do you see an error message?”

Customer: “No, I don’t get any errors. I don’t get anything!”

Me: “Okay, what do you see on your monitor?”

Customer: “I only get a black screen. Can you please fix it? I have a paper due tomorrow.”

Me: “Ma’am, if your screen is black, that means your laptop isn’t turned on. Are there any lights lit?”

Customer: “I don’t see any lights…”

Me: “Well, can you try pressing the power button?”

Customer: “That doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry, but I think there’s a problem with your computer.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! I just bought it!”

Me: “Hmm, strange. Did you charge the battery?”

Customer: “What do you mean, charge it?”

Me: “Well, did you plug your computer in a power socket, with the included power supply?”

Customer: “I need to plug it in? I thought it was WIRELESS!”