Will You Shut The Truck Up?!

I am selling my truck online and have specified that I will not go lower than the listed price of $3,800. I get the following message through the online sale platform:

Customer: “Is the truck still available?”

Me: “Yes, it is. Would you like to come by and take a look at it?”

Customer: “I would. Are you firm on the price? I can offer $1,800.”

Me: “$1,800. Are you serious?”

Customer: “Yes, that is a generous offer. You said the lock on the sleeper shell is broken. With that in mind I want to offer less.”

Me: “The list price is $3,800. The truck’s value is $5,000 so it is already severely discounted. I can’t take less than $3,800.”

Customer: “Come on, please? Your truck isn’t worth that much. I can do $1,950, that’s all the money I have.”

Later, over the space of a few minutes:

Customer: “Please I really need a truck.”

Customer: “Your truck isn’t worth $3,800!”

Customer: “Uh… hello?!”

Customer: “I can do $1,950; it’s for my son. He needs a truck for college.”

Customer: “Text me back!”

When I can finally reply:

Me: “Jeez, I was driving. Look I can’t go below asking. I am selling the car for what I owe on it so that’s the lowest I can sell for.”

Customer: “Well just give the bank the $1,800 and you can keep making payments on it.”

Me: “Just so it’s clear. You want me to give the bank $1,800, give you the truck, and keep making payments on a truck that I no longer have?”

Customer: “Yes please.”

Me: “Absolutely not. That’s not how any of this works. You realize you wouldn’t receive your title if you did that?”

Customer: “Wait, why not?”

Me: “Oh my god. Look you should go talk to a bank and learn a basic understanding about how car loans work. I am going to refuse your offer but thank you for showing interest in my truck. I hope you have a wonderful day.”

Customer: “But how will my son get to school!?

Customer: “I can do $2,000!”

After I ignore this joke of an offer for a few more minutes.

Customer: “Fine, jerk. Only p***ies drive automatics anyway.”