Will Suck At Being An Appropriate Parent

(I’m seven-months pregnant and out of it. My husband is getting ready to go to work, and kisses me on the neck.)

Husband: “Why did the girl vampire not like the boy vampire?”

Me: *grunts*

Husband: “Because he had bat breath!”

Me: *completely monotone* “Oh. I thought it was because he sucks too much.”

Husband: “That’s… not very kid appropriate.”