Will Not Be A Party To Your Bachelors

(I work audit at a well-known hotel chain. We usually mostly have business travelers, but during the summer we get various other guests, too. On this particular night, I have a bachelor party on the third floor. They’re down the hall from one of our business travelers, and they haven’t been particularly noisy that I’ve heard. Most of the louder people in the group have stayed in the lobby. A few minutes later, I get a phone call.)

Me: “Front Desk, this is [My Name].”

Guest: “THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! IT’S LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS IN THE STAIRWELL! I JUST GOT IN FROM ENGLAND; I NEED MY SLEEP! WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NOISE?!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, I know a larger group did just come in, but some of them are still in the lobby, and the rest were quiet when they went upstairs—”

Guest: “THEY WERE NOT QUIET! I COULD HEAR THEM ALL THE WAY UP THE STAIRS AND DOWN THE HALL. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM BE QUIET, NOW!”

Me: *flustered* “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize they were being so loud. Usually if a bachelor party is loud in the lobby, I’ll warn them before—”

Guest: “BACHELOR PARTY?! YOU LET A BACHELOR PARTY STAY AT A [BRAND]?!”

Me: “Well, yes, sir, we can’t really discriminate based on type of—”

Guest: “THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. I’M A [HIGHEST TIER REWARDS MEMBER], AND I WON’T STAY HERE AT ALL IF [BRAND] LETS BACHELOR PARTIES STAY HERE, TOO. I’M TRYING TO SLEEP! I JUST GOT IN FROM ENGLAND!”

Me: “Let me run up and see what’s going on. If they’re still making noise in a few minutes, let me know.”

(I run upstairs and knock on both rooms with the bachelor party and let them know there’s a guest in a nearby room who has complained about them. As it turns out, he also yelled at them as they came up the stairs. Both rooms promise to be quiet, and I wait a little way down the hall to make sure. They aren’t being overly loud, just talking in normal voices, which is audible from right outside the door, but not down the hall. A few minutes later, my phone rings again.)

Me: “Front Desk, this is [My Name].”

Guest: “YOU SAID YOU WOULD MAKE THEM BE QUIET. WELL, THEY AREN’T QUIET. I’M A [HIGHEST TIER REWARD MEMBER]! I JUST GOT IN FROM ENGLAND! I NEED MY SLEEP! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LET A BACHELOR PARTY STAY AT A [BRAND]! *continues to rant at me about how unacceptable this is*

Me: “Yes, sir, I agree that it’s unacceptable for other guests to be making noise, but when I left they were quiet. I can go up and talk to them again, though?”

Guest: “YOU SHOULD KICK THEM OUT. I’M A [HIGHEST LEVEL REWARD MEMBER]!”

(I go upstairs again and talk to the rooms, and we mutually work out that the people who want to stay up and talk longer will hang around outside the hotel, since some of them want to smoke, too, and that they will be extra careful coming back in. I then go back down to see if I can comp the night for the complaining guest for the inconvenience. I see that he’s already been here for five days, and hasn’t just gotten in from England, like he loudly insisted to me. In the end, I leave a note for a manager to see if he’d prefer a comped night or more reward points. I find out the next day that he demanded to see me in the morning and was furious when he was told I wasn’t there.)

Me: “What did he want to do, yell at me some more?”

Supervisor: “Probably. Maybe don’t tell people when we have bachelor parties in house anymore?”

Me: “I guess not.”