Will Need To Ketchup With All The Lies

(I’m serving a woman and her boyfriend. The boyfriend has ordered and is playing on his phone while the woman orders.)

Woman: “I want a [burger] but no tomato. I’m allergic. No tomato anywhere near it.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I will tell the cook. Oh, and I can tell him to leave off the [sauce] also.”

Woman: “No. Why would you do that?”

Me: “Well, [sauce] is made with a ketchup base.”

(The woman gives me a blank stare.)

Me: “Ketchup is made with tomato. You said you are allergic. I thought you would want me to remove all the tomato products.”

(The woman stammers a little, and the boyfriend bursts out laughing.)

Boyfriend: “No, she ain’t allergic; she just doesn’t like them.”

Me: *managing not to laugh* “Okay, no problem. I’ll let my cook know to leave the tomatoes off. Your total is [total].”

(The couple paid, got their cups, and walked to the beverage bar to fill them. I could hear them arguing the whole time. I had to duck around the corner so they couldn’t see me laugh.)