Will Need To Enlighten Them

(My boyfriend and I are in the car and have been listening to a radio interview with Werner Herzog and Cormac McCarthy, who are both being extremely dark and cynical but also very funny. I’m a big fan of this type of humor.)

Me: *chuckling as I open my door and step out of the car* “Man, I love dark people.”

(At that precise moment I look up and realize the woman getting out of her car next to me is very dark-skinned and is giving me a funny look.)

Me: *stammering* “I… I mean, dark as in having a negative outlook on life!”

Boyfriend: “Oh, boy. Oookay. I think you’re done here.”

(To that woman, if you’re reading this… Sorry. I have the worst timing in the world.)